Toria's Latest Random Thoughts
Posted December 5, 2006
Sooo... What's new in my life? Let's see. I have a job!!!! And a boyfriend. An amazing boyfriend. I know, I know. I wasn't planning on trying to date guys again. In fact, I had a really bad crush on this one girl... But the relationship with the girl was impossible, and I really wanted to make things work with the guy. I dated him a couple years ago... and majorly fucked things up then. So, after a year and a half of not seeing each other, and dating other people, we got back together. We are so incredibly different... it's weird. I like it. I guess I have that horrible habit of being attracted to people who have a lot in common with me. Meaning, the type of person who I could talk for hours with about animal rights and politics and the future and math and theatre and dance. Not like him. At all. Even our music tastes are somewhat different. It's absolutely crazy. But damn, I love him so much. It still feels sort of backwards in this weird sort of way. For the year and a half that I dated other people, those people were all girls, all shorter than me (just by coincidence... but I do have a thing for short girls), and were all somewhat girly (whereas I'm not so much). So now I have to be the girl in the relationship.... and it is creepy. Definitely takes some getting used to. But I.... I am so happy. I'm somewhat frustrated because I don't get to see him often. And frustrated because it seems like there are a million ways that our relationship is doomed. But none of that matters.... especially not when I'm in his arms. But anyways.... Oh yes, the other good news in my life. I have a job!!!!!!!!!! I just can't get over that fact. It's music promotion stuff. It's awesome. I love it. Almost as much as I love to dance. Almost... Not quite. I'm still dancing like crazy. I haven't ever danced so hard... ever. It's like I'm finally getting towards where I want to be. I'm finally starting to look more professional, finally starting to get those difficult combinations, finally satisfying some of my goals. You have no idea how difficult that is, to satisfying myself. My goals are insane. Honestly, when I set my goals, I know that they are crazy, I know it doesn't seem like there is any possible way to achieve them, and I know everybody in the whole damn world thinks I'm overworking myself. But to me, I have no other option, I have to do my best, and I know what that is.... But anyways.... What else is there to say? I still can't sleep like a normal person (thus why I'm updating this at 2 in the morning). Oh crap.... I just realized (after looking at my clock and noticing the date), that today is my mother's birthday.... And I don't have a present for her or anything. Shit. I'll just say she'll get it Saturday (at her surprise party that I haven't planned yet). Crap... I feel really bad now. Oh well, I am going to try to get some sleep, I love you all * hugs and kisses*
Peace, love, and punk rock,
Toria
