Corruption of Procrastination
Posted September 19, 2006
At times I feel like I am in a dream world. When reality finally kicks me in the ass, I realize that my castle in the sky is surrealistic. You see, I am the type of person that is able to learn and understand things very quickly. The pride that comes with my ease in learning causes an effervescent flaw of procrastination and ultimately laziness.
This is my final semester at Miami Dade College (MDC) and the one thing I do not need to do is procrastinate. If I succumb to putting things off, I will most likely not pass one or more of my three classes this semester. This would be horrific because I would not get to earn my degree in Computer Engineering this semester. I must not fail.
Not only do I have to stay focused on not failing, I have to fight the urge of being slothful so I can bring up my grade point average (GPA). I actually need to get an A in all three of my classes this semester to increase my GPA above 3.0. It is imperative that I work and stay focused because a higher GPA looks much better on a resume. Unfortunately, we live in a world that solely judges the masses by appearance. Obtaining a GPA above 3.0 not only looks better in the long run, but it completes an internal promise that I made to myself when I was a little over-achiever in elementary school.
The effects of procrastination, at this time, would echo through my life like a rock thrown into a spider web. Like ripples in the water, the consequences are almost eternal (in my eyes at least). If I were to do poorly in one or more of my classes I might have to stay for another endless semester at my other home, MDC. This would in turn extend my time in college, prolonging when I can actually start my life in the field of work that I have come so close to grasp onto. It is like fighting a deep sea fish for hours just to open the spool when you have it close enough to gaff. When you have to work and go to school full time, one more semester puts your future in a state of uncertainty. I do not want to be subjected into to going to school until I am thirty.
Psychologically speaking, if my life has to be put on hold I would feel like a failure; someone who is not worthy of ice picking their way up the massive corporate iceberg of industry. Not to mention the detrimental effects failure would inflict on my self-esteem. I have already had to deal with my share in demons of failure in my life and I do not want to fail so drastically again. In middle school I was a straight "A" student, but when High School came around I was diagnosed with a stomach bacteria that caused me to be sick for several months. I was so sick that my parents were forced to home school me until my body recovered. Ultimately, I was never able to go back to public school destroying the door that held all my aspirations of playing the violin professionally.
I know from experience that it is vital for you to pick yourself up when you fall. Personally, I do not want to put myself in a position that would force me to deal with the emotional letdown that comes with failure or the excess time it would take to make up for my mistakes. I am going to strive, to the best of my ability, to win this internal turmoil that bellows in my head called procrastination.
