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so, you could read this.

bad habbits die, easy?

so basically, i have this ongoing habbit, of using guys.
i cant stop and i want to, but once i figure them out, and i already have them
and i know i do. i dont need them anymore, yet im always complaining about not having "love".
so i figure, il meet this amazing guy sooneror later in my life, and things will go perfect.
well it cant be that hard right?
thers a boy, named mark. Mark Schwender, and hes amazing.
he was really hesitant, and i like that in a guy.
i like that hes scared to be close, cos it gives me somthing to challenge myself for.
to get him to trust me, but now that i have hiim im afraid of me leaving him.
cos in this case, i actually like the kid, lol. who'd of thought that. right?
well
hope all goes well with this hard
i mean, bad habbits CAN die easy right?

xxx
di

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fkk ohio k?

i hate the fact that my best friend is moving.
so basically, my life in a nutshell lately, has been terrible.
my best friend shane mcconnaughy is leaving to go to florida.
see the storry goes like this. He has been my best friend for about two years.
he lived by himself, and raised hisself since he got out of highschool, had a job
and a place to live. and always paid rent. and then all of the sudden, he decided he
wanted to go to art school, and he moved back in with his parents, and it got bad.
they made him throw away all of his girl jeans (cos yes he was "emo", lookiing)
made him ungauge his ears, and made him dye his hair a normal colour.
after that, he just was checking his myspace one day, and his REAL mother,
who he hasnt seen since he was about 10 basically, contacted him through a message.
which, i now forever HATE myspace, for real, for ripping my best friend away from me. btw.
he read the message and it said "im so blahblah glad i blah blah found you on here, we should
catch up, we have a lot to talk about" so, he tells his dad that hed like to visit her in florda.
and his father said, well if you wanna visit her, then y ou arent coming back.
so now, this upcoming saturday, he is leaving for good. and never coming back for long.
just a few weeks in the summer. and i dont know if im going to be able to deal with it.
i spend almost everyday with that boy, and my mother has basically adopted him without papers.
he is always there, we go get him, he stays the night. and its terrible that he is moving.
i feel like my other half is leaving, the good half of me that i wanted to stay.
My other best friend, Butchie , or corinne hatten, is leaving possibly.
by the end of may, she will be finding out if shes moving to arizona, or staying here.
and if shes moving, idk ,what im going to do. theyve been in my life and we've had to many memories
i cant just let them go, but I have no say in the matter. I have mark, i know i do, and i dont want him to
feel like a dissapointment or a failure, cos it seems like he doesnt matter when they leave.
but its not like that at all.. its almost like, i feel like since they left, and got torn away
hes going to get ripped away to. and thats how i feel. and im not changing anything about my story.

anything else to rain on my life?
youre more than welcome.
as a matter of fact, you are cordially invited.

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