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Age: 15

Location: [212][516][949]

Joined On: Jan 19, 2007

Occupation: Resident Freakshow.

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vintage, music, iPod, , photography, new york city, art, writing, emo, love, rad, life, NYC, tattoos, Starbucks, hxc, hair, freak, stellar, soho, piercing, fuck you, youtube, the village, manhattan, scene kid, central park, mardi gras, greenwich, upper west side, CPW

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One year. I've been writing these for one whole year. And I've been loving her since the day I found out her name. Can you believe this? She's the best thing to ever happen to me, I swear it. So many things can change in 365 days. She's in a band now. I failed a class. I'm so clean off drugs. I'm so clean off girls. Yet so many things can stay the same. I'm still a Freshman. She still can't drive. I still love her more than anything. God, I love her like you have no idea. I bet she doesn't even read these anymore, but I get so smiley when I re-read our old blogs. My heart feels like exploding, I'm so happy. When I think about her, I get butterflies from my heart to my toes .. Baby, you're mine forever. I promise.

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October 2

It's been a while.

She owes me six blogs from a while ago.
I'm not one to talk. ~

LLKO: sweetie, you know i love you right?
BAB: yeah baby, i know. i could never forget.
LLKO: i dont want you to ever forget, okay? i'll tell you every single second if it means you know i really mean it,
BAB: i'll never forget. but i still think you should tell me every single second.

-Sept. 29, 2007.

She won't forget. I know she won't.
And I'm scared because I already have.

Twice.

Yeah, that's one more than I told her.
But that's only because the second time happened this morning.
STORY TIME!

On the bus to school, I was texting Nicole Zompa
about Ryan Vento's nose.
It's gross. And huge.
She thinks he's hot. Ew.
And you know how it is, when you click on inbox to see your new texts
(texts. bleh. say that three times fast.)
and it shows the name of the people you've been texting.
Well, for the first ten, it said stuff like David The 'Mo, Zuh-Zomp, Andrea SexKitten, and MichaelJackson .. but then after that,
it was a constant flow of texts from
'AlexBaby<3'.
And for like two minutes
I sat there thinking,
"What the hell. Who is this? Alex Cambio?"
I asked Victoria and she goes,
"I'm assuming it's your boyfriend?"
I was THIS close to saying,
"What boyfriend?"
And I remembered.

And I wanted to cry.
And I wanted to call her.
But I was afraid.

I met her on January 17th, 2007.
Her birthday was ten days later, if I'm doing my math correctly.
She didn't know what color her hair was until the middle of July.
She's changed my life.

This blog sucks, I know.
At least I remember how a blog is SUPPOSED to go...
At least I remember that I love you, Allie. So much.
At least I read these blogs, and I remember that words
will never be enough to describe how I feel about you.
And Alex, you better be here always to make sure I never, ever forget.

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June 9

Smile.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

--From Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Well, she's got quite a few names now, actually.
Alexandra. On the birth certificate.
Alex. Nickname.
Allie. New nickname.
Hammy. There's a dance for this.
And another one I'll fail to mention.
But no matter who she is to other people,
she's always going to be my baby; my everything.

Now, I hate to sound completely cliche,
But I'm missing her, wanting her, needing her more than anyone.
I need her more than she probably needs me,
And this time, I'm not afraid she'll leave.

I'm not sure if she knows this, but
When I say 'I love you",
What I really mean is,
"I'm yours forever, for the rest of my life".
I can only hope that when she says it,
She means the same thing,
Because six weeks is only just the beginning.

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June 2

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

Everyone wants to fall in love.
Everyone wants to be one half of a whole heart.
But not everyone gets what they want.
Not everyone can feel just how
amazing.exhilirating.beautiful
love
really is.
And sometimes, I can't help but to feel bad for those people.

Come on.
You can't pretend you're in love.
You tell yourself a million times that you're gonna
be with that boy or girl forever.
But two weeks later, you guys are done.
True love doesn't have an ending.

And even though we're still young
and only five weeks in,
I believe that we were made to complete each other.
I really do.

How else can you explain the way
we fit together so perfectly?
The way she makes me feel so awake, and alive,
when I'm listening to her voice,
even at three in the morning?

She tells me she's lucky.
But I know that I am the lucky one.

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May 27

:)

Right now,
I don't know what to say.
There's so much I want to tell her,
so much I want to do for her.
This probably isn't going to make sense,
but whatever.
Just read it.

My life was nothing without you.
Just a boring, monotonous cycle
that I had to go through every single day.
Nothing really worth living for,
But then again, nothing worth dying for, either.
And suddenly you come into the picture,
and just flip my world
completely upside down.
You care for me.
Make everything okay.
Say you'll never leave me.
And you mean every word.
I'm not used to this, you know.
Not used to love.
Not used to giving someone my heart
when I know they can break it so easily.
But I trust you, Alex.
I love you.
And with everything I am,
I promise I'll never break yours.