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You said that you believe when it seems like fate is trying to keep us apart that means we're suppose to be together. All ashes fall but only two will remain together forever.

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July 25

The Beauty Of Ashes

The Beauty Of Ashes

Through all this pain, I feel nothing. Just the tingling feeling of hatred.
But you're right, I am the perfect person.
My eyes burn from the bright tears that fall like ashes to the floor.
My heart is fragile and desilent, but you still mangeled
it between lies and deseats. You've torn me ten years apart, as darkness
rises in my eyes and as darkness falls in my soul, I
rise to the higher power. The past you've made for me, between us, is
killing me, tearing my insides to solevent. As I take my stand one last
time to face you, you move around what I want to know, to be less convicted
about how you love me but can still burn me to ashes.
When we dance, you hold so limp and carlessly. But what you don't understand is
that you hurt me so much that I am constintly angered and depressed. You
you fucked up, but you don't do anything to help me.
Everytime the light consumes me I pretend to close my eyes. Everytime the
dark consumes me, I pretend I'm burning bright. Nothings ever right, no
regrets. Everytime I look into your eyes my heart dies to remind me you
don't regret what you did to me. Is this the beauty of ashes? I'm an angel fallen
to the ground, you lied to me once again, say our goodbyes, goodbye
forever. I want to close my eyes and pretend I never met you, but
all this is just a feeling I have. Is this the beauty of ashes?
I lie here, one last breathe to come so lift me higher and don't let me fall.
Hold me now I'm six feet from the edge and I'm crying.
I may be sinking into the eyes of an angel but its not even close
to what it was like with you. I'm buried in a lie, as a run my fingers
through your hair, what are you thinking? This is so we can fall and catch
each other. I've never let go of you and never will. Your eyes tell me
the story of how you hurt me in the end, I just want to go numb. Is this
the beauty of ashes?
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see. What you have destroyed.
This is the beauty of ashes.
This is the beauty of me and the world that you destroyed.
So this world is the beauty of ashes.
This world is the beauty of my ashes.

Travis Hawkins Nelson

Copyright 2007

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July 17

Ok so why is life immature?

So life is really immature.
My girl which I have been dating for the past two years has broken up with me and ill just let you read the email she sent me so here it tis.

Oh where to begin...well for one thing sorry about hanging up so suddenly the other night, but apparently I'm not allowed to talk to anyone out of state. So now my cell phone has been taken away..forever..and my computer privledges are now being monitored.

I suppose I should just get straight to the point now. I really never wanted us to end nor did I think that it would end like this, but it would be best if we stopped "seeing" (we didn't really get that far) each other. Mainly because I'm afraid of my dad, like literally afraid, and I just might end up doing some things that you may not like once school starts involving other guys in kind of a revenge against my dad type think. I'll leave that as that for now. It's stupid and I really should do it but that's the way I handle things.

So, I'd really like to talk to you, so just e-mail me back, but don't send it to this e-mail address. Send your reply to insane_wild_chick@yahoo.com Mainly because my parents have access into this account and I don't want them reading my e-mails.

xoxo,
Autumn

so there tis it its all messed up and what made me hit stuff was this part "and I just might end up doing some things that you may not like once school starts involving other guys" that is what hurts the most but hey I've had my heart broken what......this will make it the 13th time so hey I numb to it i guess.
But life is immature and well I am just glad that we people can be jerks lol as in people whoa re like my ex girlfriend autumn. but anyways sry fopr boring you I just needed to really type this out becuase one it makes me feel better two becuase it helps the paina nd three means I am just trying to hard lol.

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July 11