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CRAZEDCHICK514
TheDemonHUNTer777
Dearborn Heights, MI
Adz
United States
Liar's Drive Fans
Chicago, IL
lou911
Herndon, PA
I don't want to give this up.
Don't make me say yes.
But I'm slowly sliding down.
And I don't want to die here all alone.
I've been waiting here too long.
Just to know I still belong.
Give me but a touch.
A half-heard whisper in my ear.
Something so I know you know I'm still here.
I have nothing to offer you.
Nothing of great value.
Nothing but my gleaming eyes.
And a heart full of sorrow.
I will think of you forever.
Even if you leave me here to die.
'Cause you're the reason I have these tears in my eyes.
And this heart full of sorrow.
Once full of love.
I now can't bear the thought.
I've waited here too long.
Only to watch your heart be bought.
Someday I know I'll get my chance.
Once standing strong.
Determined to be noticed.
I now sit huddled.
My back against the wall.
I still want that chance.
I still want to stand strong.
But sitting here now.
Someone else has come along.
Only half as good as you.
My heart will remain broken.
But I can pretend.
That he's my shining beacon.
Behind his smile I sense something wrong.
But what in me is not at this point.
He promises me his love.
His guidance, his loyalty.
My words don't seem to affect you.
As I lay my head down.
Closing my eyes as I call out.
Love is what this is about.
When I said I loved you.
All you did was smile.
Now I lay here alone.
Loving you, all this while.
Pick me up out of this.
This is not where I belong.
In your arms is where I should be.
Giving you a good night kiss.
But another has come along.
Don't make me say yes.
I just want you, not even at your best.
Please, I'm on my knees.
Don't make me say yes.
I don't care for him.
Not the way I do you.
But I can't lie here forever.
Some trinket, shoved away.
I know you won't listen.
But hear me now at least.
It's you I love.
So don't make me say yes to this beast.
You're the half that makes me whole.
My heart not beating without you.
I'm broken.
Oh so heavily broken.
My body lusts for your touch.
My heart to feel your warmth again.
To know you'll always be there.
To know that I have your love.
But my body lay still now.
My heart no longer beating.
Alone and cold in this dark place.
Watching from afar your love for someone else.
But I'd rather feel this pain.
Than lay here in the cold.
Knowing my misery is what holds me to you.
Forever weakened forever yours.
So I will wait for you forever.
But don't expect to find me here.
Someone else has come along to hold.
But honestly, I'd rather stay in the cold.
He's offered and I've refused.
I now know he loves me.
Broken heart and all he loves me.
As to what to do I'm still confused.
All I know is this.
You're the one I miss.
You're the one my heart belongs to.
As I belong to you.
I don't mind that I'm in the dark.
I no longer mind the cold.
Numb is all I feel.
And you're all that's real.
I can wait for you forever.
And I'll do just that.
But don't put me down like this.
Don't make me say yes.
I'll follow you forever.
Loving you with every tear I cry.
Wanting you to hold me.
To be here by my side.
To you I may just be another name.
Another face long forgotten.
But know this;
I will wait for you forever.
Untill the day I die.
Just say the word I'm there.
At your side forever.
Your fingers through my hair.
But now, eyes shut tight.
Knees pulled to my chest.
Arms wrapped tightly around.
Wishing I could show you me at my best.
You've seen it and you still said no.
Which is why I'm here today.
Biting my lip,
Lieing in a puddle of my own blood and tears.
If you don't say yes soon.
Then I'm bound to give in.
Because I'm past the point of broken.
And am now about to sin.
Don't make me say yes.
His smiles grows with each day.
Offering me things I could never get from you.
Please, don't make me say yes.
He holds out a knife.
Taking my hand in his.
Offering to help.
I wimper not wanting to say yes.
Tears flow down my cheeks.
All he does is grin.
As if he didn't care;
The pain I am in.
I close my eyes and pray.
But all I hear is silence.
He smiles at me.
Waiting for that one word.
I don't want to do this.
But I will if I must.
He pulls my hand too hard.
The knife drawing blood.
And it's that he longs for.
My blood.
My soul.
My loyalty and even more.
Don't make me say yes to him.
But for you I'd give my life.
Because I've already lived for you.
So I say the word and I die for you too.
This half-a-man waits for that one word.
The one world that will condemn me forever.
And still I wait.
Please don't make me say yes.
I'm selling my soul for you.
He promises I will feel no pain.
Come back to me to stop this.
Don't make me say yes to this devil.
I mutter those three words again.
Thinking it'd make a difference.
I cry harder.
Not making a single sound.
I hear nothing but my own echo.
The soft drip of my tears.
And see nothing but darkness.
And this man's lust for me.
The knife still against my bare skin.
Wondering how much darker it could get.
I feel it slowly burrow.
My blood begining to flow.
I close my eyes and think.
Think of nothing but you.
How I wish I could kiss you just one time.
One first and last time before I say yes....
Email me.
Emo.
Gun to my head, finger on the trigger.
Hesitating.
Eyes shut tight, lips trembling...
Hesitating...
How much longer can I wait like this? My hand shaking, fingers digging into my flesh, the cold barrel against my temple. The only sound I hear is my heart beating in my ears, the soft sound of my sobbing.. Tears hitting the ground.
I tried to call out, but I didn't make a sound.
Forced into this, I hesitate. I know I shouldn't. I should just squeeze the trigger, blood and brains spraying the wall... Staining that precious, white wall... Mom would have a fuss about that. Might stain, you know.
Thoughs flash through my mind... I see you. I feel you, a soft touch on my cheek.
More flashes.
You and I together, laughing. Holding hands. Our first kiss. I see myself crying.
More flashes...
More crying.. You in bed with her. Looking at me with a slight grin on your face, that look of contempt. I run, still crying. You don't follow. I see you. I feel you. Pushing me away. I see you laughing, but this time laughing at me.
Everything goes black.
I see myself now, just as I am. Home alone because no one cares. Pale faced, back against that white wall, hair in my face, eyes closed to block out the light. One hand raised, holding that gun, hand shaking, finger on the trigger. My other hand at my thigh, my nails drawing blood, feeling no pain. Knees raised to my chest, chin resting on them. I cry, but you hear nothing. No one does.
Hesitating...
How much longer should I wait?
Hesitating...
I bite my lip. I see more flashes. This time, not of my life... Not of my past, but the future. I see you with her again, holding hands. Laughing. I see glipses of you, holding hands with that girl at my funeral..
(Flashes)
Me again. Still trembling. Still crying.
I hesitate.
Time freezes. I look up, (hesitating) eyes red, (hesitating) tears still on my cheeks but no longer crying. Hesitating. I realize. I mean nothing to you.
Hesitating.
I mean nothing to the world...
Hesitating..
Time unfreezes... I look around, see no sign of you.
Head held high, I pull that trigger.
As I bloddy the wall, my world goes dark.
To My Love, To my Andrew
It seems as though that whenever I find love, I screw it up, and lose it. I've fallen in love twice now, and no one was there to catch me as I fell. They always seem to pull away at the last moment. True, I admit that the pulling away was justified, but I never get a second chance. I just have to start all over again, with a half clean slate. I just don't see how it's fair that I can be in love, and feel the way I do. I'll never be able to forget him, or move on no matter who I manage to run into later. I haven't forgotten Kevin, but I found a way to pick myself up after that long fall, and find someone else, as he had already done. Just so happens that the person I found I also fell in love with. He too, seemingly at the last moment, decided not to catch me. I know he loves me, but we can't be together, or at least not right now. I understand but I really wish that I could get a second chance. Just to prove that this time I won't mess it up. I really don't understand how or why I can feel the way I do. All I know is that I'm in love with him, and that I can't be with him. It's an awefull feeling. This time I really don't want to pick myself up and move on, becuase I know that I won't find anyone better this time. He's it. He's all I had. Now, I don't even have him anymore. So, today, on 6/6/06 I am officially single, and will remain that way untill either he decides to take me back, or untill.... Well, untill the end of the earth.
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Alright. Well, it's been a couple months since I wrote that, and I felt like updating it a bit. First off... Well, I don't really know where to start, so the hell with it. I still care about him, but I don't know what the hell to think about him anymore. Don't know what to think about anything, really... After He and I broke up things got really hectic around here... Parents... friends... Oh so confusing. The main thing is though, that right now I'm the most comfotable with myself than I've ever been. I've come to realize that no matter what happens, no matter how crazy things get, I still have myself, and I still have everything I believe in. Just because things change around me does not mean that I change with them. I am my own person, and no one, and no event is going to change that. I'm proud of who I am, what I believe in, and most of all, what I can say i've been through. All I can say right now is thankyou Andrew. I want to thank you for breaking my heart, and helping me to realize that I don't need you, nor anyone else to be happy. Just hope that you realize this eventually too. Best of luck to you.
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
********************************************Mario J Bara********************************************
To My Love, Whom Will Never Read This Nor Ever Understand the Real Pain I'm In.
I don't want to give this up
Don't make me say yes
But I'm slowly sliding down
And I don't want to die here all alone
I've been waiting here too long
Just to know I still belong
Give me but a touch
A half-heard whisper in my ear
Something so I know you know I'm still here
I have nothing to offer you
Nothing of great value
Nothing but my gleaming eyes
And a heart full of sorrow
I will think of you forever
Even if you leave me here to die
'Cause you're the reason I have these tears in my eyes
And this heart full of sorrow
Once full of love
I now can't bear the thought
I've waited here too long
Only to watch your heart be bought
Someday I know I'll get my chance
Once standing strong
Determined to be noticed
I now sit huddled
My back against the wall
I still want that chance
I still want to stand strong
But sitting here now
Someone else has come along
Only half as good as you
My heart will remain broken
But I can pretend
That he's my shining beacon
Behind his smile I sense something wrong
But what in me is not at this point
He promises me his love
His guidance, his loyalty
My words don't seem to affect you
As I lay my head down
Closing my eyes as I call out
Love is what this is about
When I said I loved you
All you did was smile
Now I lay here alone
Loving you, all this while.
Pick me up out of this
This is not where I belong
In your arms is where I should be
Giving you a good night kiss
But another has come along
Don't make me say yes
I just want you, not even at your best
Please, I'm on my knees
Don't make me say yes
I don't care for him
Not the way I do you
But I can't lie here forever
Some trinket, shoved away
I know you won't listen
But hear me now at least
It's you I love
So don't make me say yes to this beast
You're the half that makes me whole
My heart not beating without you
I'm broken
Oh so heavily broken
My body lusts for your touch
My heart to feel your warmth again
To know you'll always be there
To know that I have your love
But my body lay still now
My heart no longer beating
Alone and cold in this dark place
Watching from afar your love for someone else
But I'd rather feel this pain
Than lay here in the cold
Knowing my misery is what holds me to you
Forever weakened forever yours
So I will wait for you forever
But don't expect to find me here
Someone else has come along to hold
But honestly, I'd rather stay in the cold
He's offered and I've refused
I now know he loves me
Broken heart and all he loves me
As to what to do I'm still confused
All I know is this
You're the one I miss
You're the one my heart belongs to
As I belong to you
I don't mind that I'm in the dark
I no longer mind the cold
Numb is all I feel
And you're all that's real
I can wait for you forever
And I'll do just that
But don't put me down like this
Don't make me say yes
I'll follow you forever
Loving you with every tear I cry
Wanting you to hold me
To be here by my side
To you I may just be another name
Another face long forgotten
But know this;
I will wait for you forever
Untill the day I die
Just say the word I'm there
At your side forever
Your fingers through my hair
But now, eyes shut tight
Knees pulled to my chest
Arms wrapped tightly around
Wishing I could show you me at my best
You've seen it and you still said no
Which is why I'm here today
Biting my lip
Lieing in a puddle of my own blood and tears
If you don't say yes soon
Then I'm bound to give in
Because I'm past the point of broken
And am now about to sin
Don't make me say yes
His smiles grows with each day
Offering me things I could never get from you
Please, don't make me say yes
He holds out a knife
Taking my hand in his
Offering to help
I wimper not wanting to say yes
Tears flow down my cheeks
All he does is grin
As if he didn't care;
The pain I am in
I close my eyes and pray
But all I hear is silence
He smiles at me
Waiting for that one word
I don't want to do this
But I will if I must
He pulls my hand too hard
The knife drawing blood
And it's that he longs for
My blood
My soul
My loyalty and even more
Don't make me say yes to him
But for you I'd give my life
Because I've already lived for you
So I say the word and I die for you too
This half-a-man waits for that one word
The one world that will condemn me forever
And still I wait
Please don't make me say yes
I'm selling my soul for you
He promises I will feel no pain
Come back to me to stop this
Don't make me say yes to this devil
I mutter those three words again
Thinking it'd make a difference
I cry harder
Not making a single sound
I hear nothing but my own echo
The soft drip of my tears
And see nothing but darkness
And this evil man's lust for me
The knife still against my bare skin
Wondering how much darker it could get
I feel it slowly burrow
My blood begining to flow
I close my eyes and think
Think of nothing but you
How I wish I could kiss you just one last time
One last time before I utter that one word
Yes....
When Broken is Easily Fixed...
Something's missing inside...
Every day I sit here waiting.
Everyday just seems so long...
And I just try to find some hope.
My dreams confuse me, one night will be a love song, the next I'll wake up wanting to cry.
All for you.
I wish you were here...
I need someone to hold, to whisper in my ear you love me...
Because I love you
I'm heavily broken...
Heavily broken without you...
And there's nothing I can do.
Broken is easily fixed.
You're the thing that's missing, and oh so perfectly would you fit.
How I'd love to fit in your arms.
Dance with me in the rain. Call out to me in a public place and let the whole world know you love me. Kiss me on the cheek to get a giggle and push me up against the wall and bite my lip when the time's right. Blare the radio as we sing our song, speeding down an old abandoned road. Take my hand and skip down the street, only the dim lights showing the way. Lead me, protect me, care for me...
Love me.
Hold me.
Never let me go.
...If only Broken was so easily fixed.
Hmm... I could cut myself to get a guy to stay with me too!!
I'm so emo, but I don't want to admit it... So I'll just go cut myself so that way Kevin feels bad for me and won't leave me.... Even though he hates it when I hurt myself!!! I'm going to go cut!!! I'm an anorexic bitch named Ashley!!!!!!!!!!!
sui_winbolo
I may be amazing, but you are perfect in my eyes.
posted Apr 22
amendandrevise
Boo. :P
posted Mar 03
jackdaniels16
alright treacle how u doin? xxxxxxxxxx
posted Feb 28
Deigo
hi listen:
posted Feb 07
ungas
i love ur words...ur pix too!!
posted Jan 24
icanteverdie
m kay
posted Jan 18
every1luvsbevers
hey i signed in for the first time in months and you
were my friend and i dont remember you....sup
posted Jan 08
icanteverdie
whatsup i havent talked to you 4 ages
posted Dec 07