Age: 22
Location: Planet E
Joined On: Jan 13, 2005
Occupation: College Student (parttime) getting friendly with Mens Clothing @MACY\'S
Hi. Everyone has a story whether they like to share it is up to them. Living here on planet E makes for a few things to share or more. I started an account on here because I have a love for music of course, but more so to meet people who enjoy most of the same having the strong passion and drive to make their own music and others. When you live, breathe, eat, drink, excrete music you are engulfed by the posion going further deep into new ideas, approaches to the sound, addictive lyrics, and a killing presentation. I have an abundance of excitement and wonder for things that are going on in my life and in others. I will listen to all that people want to say given "free speech." In some cases it's best to just listen. For upcoming- new-veteran bands there's always room for improvement. Even when you can't hear the sound anymore... I like to help people in anyway I can without breaking the law...lol. Having fun....as long as it's productive and constructive. You can never stop learning unless you choose to. CHOICE is a very strong word to me along with LOVE-HATE. So much is being recorded when were born into this world. I like playing sports and learning how to play them. I was in band all through highschool which I'll never PROTEST as being a sport...lol. Therefore I'm all up to participating in all sports. (wrestling is the exception) My favorite animal is the Bison. I like reading. It is fundamental. Keeps you from thinking sometimes. The arts enlighten me not just canvas on white walls. People are forever intriguing not only in magazines/billboards/spreads. A man or women on the street up to Corporate offices are characters. History is an neverending fascination to me also. My favorites to research and find new material on are as follows: Holocaust/Genocide/Humanism/Laws/ Wars-preferably those not in the United States. WWI/2. We are a young nation. Wars in other countries fascinate me because the land and culture/people are so old there's such a inticing mystery, love, and anger layed on an endless palette of holy canvas. "Because we live in such a mind -dominated culture, most modern art, architecture, music, and literature are devoided of beauty, of inner essence, with every few exceptions. The reason is that the people who create those things cannot-----even for a moment-----free themselves from their mind. So they are never in touch with that place within where true creativity and beauty arise. The mind left to itself creates monstrosities, and not only in art galleries. Look at our urban landscapes and industrial wastelands. No civilization has ever produced so much ugliness." - The Power of Now(Eckhart Yolle) -Midtown
I cry out loud today! There's a constant billowing noise coming from the air conditioner adjacent to my bed. Tears are erased dry from chalkboards of reasons why I trusted you to the point of being disenchanted. I trusted you to the summit of flags being raised in the honor of the dead. I feel dead to you in dignity why would I die with it when I never had it while living? Why did I confide in you with...precious secured secrets only for you to destroy it's vessel of safe keeping . You destroyed all that I thought would be something worth unveiling. So I'll take the next train- sir to miles away from your face of refutation. I'll take the next bus madam racing through busy traffic. While the city lights are all shut off. Will I make it safe to my final destination? Will I make it safe? I have nothing to live for. I'll exacerbate the ending of our relationship before anyone sees that we were in a relationship. I've got connections check out the newspaper today. Clip out the article on page 3. You've thought I'd live without making a statement to the world of your loneliness?.rather my loneliness. You can't stomach what I did to cause the pain your feeling now hours from now you'll still have the same nervous guilty feeling you have right now. Honestly I don't give a damn. I'll hurt you just as much as you did me. Can you feel it now? What a place you are now. It's a bit impressive. I don't know what you do should I laugh or cry? Well I laugh now I laugh so hard my stomach hurts. Is this really happening? Roles have been reversed. Take a good look at me now. I will be dead soon. Please don't forget my face this grin is just for you. I'm up to the 20th floor now right next to the fire escape. This roof's a bit out of place...maybe. Although I have just enough space. Who is that? They jumped!?.
Yeah I was there when your house was in need of some repair
When your reality was being sucked into vacuums of a world in which you created around yourself to protect the emptiness you still feel now only someone has came down.
That someone who isn't very spiritually minded nonetheless serious about God or their salvation.
You were told once to hang with those in your age range.
I think maybe that was a mistake given the amount of friendsor so called ones you had to begin with.
Not to mention those actually of the faith you have struggled a lot with.
I believe it is more hurtful staring from afar looking at your situation form the macro-level.
It is extremely hard to consider the damage control taken on by you in the micro-level.
So I don't apologize to you for a stand still of communication.
Or friendship that I kind of longed for
Just remember I was there when your house was in need of some repair
You didn't need to look me up rather I just popped or txt you right up
Sometimes it's best I guess for a house to crumble down or be destroyed by fire than for patching up what will need patching up again and furthermore when the times comes there'd be no need for the house at all.
I came to see you. My mindset was that you'd be there. I put myself out there. Thinknig I'd get your attention. I put forth a lot of effort to be entertaining and interesting. You may have took notice if no one else was around. It seems I've thought more into what's just accumulating dust. I was smitten for a while for you. After the fire blew out of your previous affair I took it upon myself to move in slowly. Now I just want to run really fast. Out in to the woods or along a deserted road in the outskirts of an uknown place. Catch a flight out or a bus ride far away from here. Keep to myself and live past the embarassing thoughts of what could have became of us. Or what I wanted to become of us. I care about you alot. I don't place my heart with yours for only feelings which have change and continue to change on a daily basis. Rather I place it unconditionally right now it's in the pocket of your jeans. Jeans you'll soon take off and wash without a thought to check the pocket. It slowly settles deeper to the bottom right corner. It becomes wet pushed against the inner wallls by the cold water and detergent sqeezed and balled up to a burning piece now out of the dryer to start another day in your pocket without being discovered. I walk the halls to class without a friend to talk to. Without someone to laugh with. I go to work dressed in black tie outerwear. Immersing myself to every customer's needs under a manager who does see the sadness in my face. I tell him it has nothing to do with the job or my time there or does it? I place God first in my life. He's given me alot of blessings and continues to do so. Even through the storms I've made it because of him and his love. He fills the void; however, after the show is over I can't pretend to be ok. I can not hide my sadness. I'll find someone else and lay another peice of my heart into their pocket in hopes it'll be excavated and unveiled before it's too late.
It will be a while until I'm finished - It will be a while until I walk down to receive the papers-That makes two of us-I'm not expected to turn off the lights until a few years from now-I'm sick of hearing when the plane will arrive just reminds me of how much time I have left-I need you to do a few things for me now that were sitting face to face-The waitress hands us menus-I see you're a bit nervous tearing up and rolling your straw paper into balls-I'm going to speak but rather wait for you to speak first-You look at me as you talk I couldn't look at you while I talk-I'm glad you arrange this outing for us-I told you to call me whenever you wanted to-It simply meant I would never call you -Great it's wonderful to hear that your doing well and life is treating you.Here's to my life! cheersrightI'm not hungryit seemed you were but your doing more talking than eating-I ask for a fifth refill on my drink-I need more than you coming to see me-I need more than you deciding to talk to me-I need more than you to feel pity or the smallest sympathy for me-I need more than you to seem interested in me-Don't take the focus off of me-You don't talk about me anymore-Although tonight I'm all you speak of-I made decisions that distance myself from others -I made decisions that revealed top stories of conversations for your friends- none of mine-I have decided to change my ways not for them but for myself-You do care for meYou may have feelings for meMy heart has been shattered -What is it?-I was self giving and sacrificial?!!!-I gave the highest love to her only to be let down-I gave the highest love to her only to be kicked out of bounds like a soccer ball-Deflated..cut upthrown in the dumpsters across miles and miles of field-I need more than you coming to see me-I need more than you deciding to talk to me-I need more than you to feel pity or the smallest sympathy for me-I need more than you to seem interested in me-I need you to love me for meare you ready to do that..?-You've already been doing that for a few weeks now-How about a few years?-Some people would rather not deal with me-You deal with me and I don't' know whether to laugh or cry
It was a relationship of convenience. I came down here of course I will only be here for a while. Things between us have been off and on like your feelings of me right now. I expected this to happen. Even before your friends told you how they felt about us. Only it's your decision. I don't care about what they may think of me only I do care about what they think of me. Why? What? I hope they don't act weird around us . It's really what you think of me. Are you listening? I can't hear you there's alot of static. Please drive slower and turn the stereo down I can't hear her.!________I won't hurt you again only I don't see it as that. It was a relationship of convinence. I gave you no promises. I'm a bit irresponsible in my choices for this but it's mans rules I must follow in the future rules I ignored to only save myself. You must follow the rules of our engagement. I can't keep this together once I leave. What r u kidding? Please stop crying... Please stop crying... What did you think would become of us?! What did you think I had planned in the future for us?! It was to easy...easy for me to accept what you wanted from me it was oh so very easy for this to happen what has happened? __________ I was only going along with what you wanted. I'm very needy. I've blinded you by all this fun were having. It's your turn to save me again...your what I need. However, I can find this again I will be leaving again soon. I will find this again. A relationship of convenience...while I'm here now to take care of some bussiness. You take on the ones to try to help them only hurting yourself more. Youre the one hurting more... out to save others yourself is torned....broken....cold inside. Wait I didn't do this to you before I was in a relationship only I took the opportunity because I truly wanted...this was only for the time period what must I do to gain your love again? What must I do to...gain your trust again? __________you take up space you'lll never fill in the space... the void that lies within me you'll never fill the void that lies within me.
It was simply a relationship of convenience....I did need you at that time however the daily journey as a Christian is hard for me to handle.....so I travel alot and I see the world I have fun doing so and I had my time with you.......only you cannot fill the void that lies within me...
So I use you to numb myself I decide I'll just use you again... use you to ease the pain.......I must take off now. No goodbyes? I'll be back..you'll need someone to save again.
WillyYIrishGuy
How\'s it goin\', man?
posted Dec 21
Chauntecleer
Hello there! Click on the picture to listen!!! HREF="http://www.purevolume.com/thelongtomorrow">
Hit me back and be a href="%u201Chttp://www.myspace.com/thelongtomorrow%u201
D">friend!!! Thanks and God bless, Rich
posted May 25
Ameriken2
Hey, Whats Up? I think you\'ll like my music from your
favorite artists. Just click the black
link....... href="http://www.purevolume.com/ameriken"> Cool
pic.....looks like it was taken on Planet E.......
posted Sep 17
neeek16
hii im shannique how are you?
posted Jul 26
[so]farso[/good]
thank you. very much.
posted Jul 19