- Listener
CHAOSLOVER44
Age: 19
Location: United States
Joined On: Dec 19, 2006
There's not too much to say about me really. Life's fucked and all I can say is that you have to roll with the punches.
A change of pace maybe??
I don't feel so great right now, I really like how this keyboard types though, so sleek, so sure, so cunning, so smooth...
Maybe I'll go to the nurse and get some advil or something because i'm getting a headache, though i'm sure i won't have a temperature though and they won't be able to give me anything for what it is that i have, and i'll be here all day miserable as ever.
There was absolutely nothing to look forward to when i woke up this morning and had to drag myself out of bed, i almost just stayed there, maybe I should have just done that instead.
Do you know what I hate??? My life. it's so fucked up...so, idk, messed. And there's nothing that i can do to fix it, all out of my controll. I like having controll over my life and so the things that i can controll, they aren't the best things in the world, but I still control them, but that's my choice i guess. It's what i wanted so it's what i'll get.
Life doesn't like me very much, I swear it's out to get me. haha. and all that i ever seem to do in these damn blogs is complain about everything and about how life is agaisnt me. I wish it weren't....
But hey, in a few months Brand New will be at Higer Ground! And I am so there for only 18 dollars! I just love how all the shows there are so amazingly cheap. and i prefer them to the big arena shows anyday...even though the lights or effects or whatever maybe not be as huge, it's way more personal i feel. but i've never been to an arena show so i wouldn't really know for sure, that's my guess though. More personal is better to me, it's closer too! the chances of getting in the front and getting a high five or pick or something is much greater and that's allways good. haha. i really don't feel too great...
..i thought i was dying and would have to go to the hospital or morgue the other night. my stomache was killing me, seriously...it was soo bad that i decided to turn OFF madtv and go to bed! that's pretty huge for me. i thought my apendex or something burst. so i took about 1200mg of ibuprofin and crashed in bed. eventually i fell asleep, the pills helped with that, and the next morning i woke up and felt better. I actually had a pretty amazing sleep too considering that i was sick. Hell, it was a better slumber than i would have gotten even if i was perfectly healthy dammit! Didn't wake up once, that i remember anyway.
The computer lab is so empty right now. It's just me and this other guy. I don't know who he is though, not in my class. I should probably be working on my chemisty power point...I have a ton left to do on it still. I don't feel like doing it though..
"never gonna get it right, your never gonna get it..."
Okay. A few words of advice....
If something comes up and you don't have the rest of your life or hell in my case the rest of the month to do this, just do it....especially if it's something that you want really bad. If you don't risk the chance, you'll regret it, trust me.
So that guy from my last blog...he had to move soon and i knew that, didn't make a move though....until he was already gone...sorta...but now we talk so much online well, since this weekend. haha. and i have a feeling that he sooo likes(d) me back....but i don't know, i think it's too late now...it wouldn't be the same...
good-bye!
school is so fucking lame!!!!!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!
Today couldn't get any worse, maybe better but i highly doubt that that will happen because even though things always get better, not today it won't.
As i sit here, i have a perfectly clear veiw of uh, yeah, this guy. maybe he likes me too, maybe not. i feel like a little fucking school girl on her first crush or something. haha. but i'm listening to Class Clown and i like them! i saw then at the fair a couple summers ago. haha. i want to go to their show at higer ground now. haha. fuck kyle and what he thinks of them, they are fucking awesome. haha.
so back to my little crush here, he's so fucking cute!
i want their cd when it comes out! fuck yes! ive been swearing nonstop since that damn unearth concert....fucking amazing!
"Like a Wave" good song by class clown. bahaha. someones outside the window picking up trash.
i wish that he would just come sit next to me, noone's sitting by me right now, he could share my headphones. haha. that would be cute. i think he might have a ggirlfriend or something, idk, it's not like anything would happen anyway.
that's what i don't get. nothing ever happens with me and neone that i like, even if they like me back, nothing, ever, happens, fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!
guess i'll try to print my paper again, fucking printer, it sucks!
i love and hate how we match glances everyonce and a while but nothing ever happens. what a bitch this life is. there's not one thing that's happened, no matter how graet life has been lately that hasn't proved life isn't a bitch....just think about that cody guy i met. does he have a fucking gf or not?? and even if he didn't he lives in fucking montgomery!! what the fuck is up with that?! we really connected in that mosh pit. baha. and he saved my life...he soooo grabbed my hand when i fell and put me back on my feet. yay! love at first bruise. haha. to this day i'm still finding new bruises that i didn't know were there before.
"just forgive and forget"
that's right, "just forget me, it's that simple. " famous words of my beloved taking back sunday.
"fall down, hide away from regret" that is class clown. haha. now to try to print once more this fucknig paper i've been done for days. haha.
woo-hoo!! paper's finally done!!!
"i never gave a fuck about you or your friends anyway!!!" bahaha. so what i'm feeling right now.
i wanna go back to essex. more than normal though, maybe that's just because today has sucked so damn much.
i've wanted to shoot myself in the FACE about 6 times today. that was just during one class though, now not so much b/c OMG guess who just glanced back at me! yay! i bet i looked so uh, what's the word i'm looking for?? busy, intrigued by my blog, when he look back. haha. i want to write a song. a new one that's not as cheesy as my last. one that's good and has good quotes that people like myself will look at and be "wow, this is genious" and quoting it when they hear it just like i do all the time.
"all that i've been missing"
"i don't beleive in anything that i don't see in front of me"
xoxo
So I guess I'll see you around.
So, the holiday break is coming up in like a day. Tomorrow is my last day at school, and I"m excited. I want to skip my chemistry class because it's the only one that I have that I'm actually doing stuff in. In my english class we are having a pizza party. How sick it that?!
Over vacation, I want to try to get a ride up to see the Urgency and a couple other bands at the showcase lounge. I don't know where exactly that is downtown though so I need to figure that out first. If I don't get to go it's not a huge deal but it would be kinda fun I think. I want to go see Unearth and some other people in a couple weeks. that would be fun. and then tbs, underoath, and armor for sleep, up in montreal, 40 bucks, i just need to get my parents to let me drive up there, then get someone to go with me. i'm kinda scared to go to montreal all by myself. they'll be able to pick out an american girl like a cockroach in a salad. haha. that makes no sense.
but still, i need to get out and go crazy. and hopefully we get a party arranged for new years eve. that reminds me of something that i have to go do now....
yeah i know my life's sorta dull at first glance. at second glance you wouldn't want to be me cause it sucks so much.
