- Listener
BROKENWINDOWPAINS
Self_Inflicted_Hickies
United States
xxxKYLExxx
Naples, FL
L.A.O. Fanclub
Nashville, TN
loserkidCHAD
Mboro, TN
My name is Hannah.
That's all. There's no ridculous mayspace name
(Hannah Homicide? Hannahsaurus Hang-up?).
There's no cute middle name, that I'll snap at you if you don't include.
Somehow, I'm not into cliche. I think I prefer just Hannah.
I like this, who I am, but sometimes confidence is difficult to obtain.
I too am trying to find the balance between a healthy self esteem and humility.
I don't think I'm very pretty or smart. I doubt my writing ability everyday,
but that doesn't stop me from writing all the time... seriously, all the time.
I'll be nice to you, or I'll try really hard. I like nice people. Doesn't everyone?
I take long walks and have conversations that last for hours on end.
You could join me, and maybe we would have a fantastic time together.
I think people are fascinating, and when I say "It's nice to meet you," I actually mean it.
so many times...
whose gorgeous creation
is in attept to escape
the limits of his canvas.
and so, we run away,
afraid of something so great.
so great as to know each name,
each heart and its desires.
and today i woke up.
and thought, when the world
was only a blank canvas
yet to be decorated
with love and beauty.
what was the painter thinking?
as he sat before the emptiness.
did he deliberately create dark corners?
where hunger and struggle would prevail?
did he create destruction so that he could rebuild?
deal out pain solely so that he could heal it?
and then i realized.
what is light without the darknes?
the masterpieces of fame.
the greatest works of all time.
for there is contrast.
the dark is incredibly dark.
and so, the light shines all the brighter.
we see the rays of hope.
in the darkest of darks.
these are the rays.
that shine on the world.
these are the rays
that light up the faces
of those in need,
those who pain has grasped
and won't let go.
these are the men
and women
and children.
they have stories to tell.
and they have hope to inspire.
are you listening?
are you learning?
be inspired.
(beware... its pdf)
As autumn approaches...
The wind whistles in my ear.
I turn my head, only to see your empty face.
A countenance of utter disdain.
And yet, I cannot look away.
It's getting cold outside.
But I find your heart of ice.
And shout to God to save you.
From the bitter frost of the approaching winter.
For when exactly did it become permissible to simply ditch your friends?
It seems everyone around me is so famished from lack of geuine freindship.
This fact strikes me as simply despicable.
We create an ideal world for ourselves on Myspace and Facebook,
Where everyone loves each individual and
Each person is constantly bambarded
By friend requests, comments, eprops, pokes, etc.
And we retreat there when reality is a system too harsh
And the world offers no accomodation
In earnest attempt to convince ourselves that
The quinessence of life is dependent upon this feigned affection.
Only to come crashing back down to reality.
Oh, this cruel realiaty into which we crash
After a mile high ride in the clouds
Of imaginary friends, plastic lives, and factitious interaction.
And it pains me deeply.
Last night.
I was frustrated.
Not with outside factors.
But with myself.
I felt so... restless.
Like discontent.
So I turned on the tv.
And I was captivated.
Completely immersed.
It was a Lifetime movie.
And I will remember it
For a lifetime.
It was wonderful.
It felt so amazingly real.
Like I was in it myself.
As if the story
Was that of my life.
I was beautiful.
With slick, shiny hair.
When hiding in the closet,
Alone and screaming
Into the darkness.
Pretending the world
Couldn't touch me.
It was black,
Laden with emotions
So deep and pure.
A gorgeous jet black
So rich that it looks as if
You could escape
Into the safety of night
In my hair.
Yet when I stand in the sun
In the brightness of day
While the children play
And the flowers drink in
The nourishment
From the penetrating rays.
It is red, cheerful and bright.
A natural, smiling tint.
I had eyes like no other.
Green, sad and honest.
They were deep pits of misery.
Displaying every hurt
And sorrow within me.
And through those eyes
I am unable to function.
Because of my past.
And so I no longer speak.
My insides have not reconciled
With those who hurt me.
And so it continues to do so.
And it wont stop.
I won't forget.
My eyes won't stop telling
Everyone.
That I am broken.
[[But my mouth has]]
As I rode in the car
I leaned my head out the window.
Into the rushing spring air.
It was refreshing
To say the least.
I closed my eyes.
My gorgeous deep eyes.
And started to let go.
I was afraid.
But something in me
Took that fear away
And allowed me to start walking
Walking down the long path
To healing: a feeling
Unlike any other in the world.
And I like it that way.
And leaning out the car window
With the wind beginning
To erode the pain from my body
I felt God; they say
"God is like the wind
Unseen but not unfelt"
And I have disregarded that
Yet now it becomes my story.
My return to wholeness,
To a pure and simple innocence.
As that of a child.
Yet mention of my own childhood
Merely makes me sick
It brings back a sharp stab of pain.
And as I sit at home
Back in my real life
I reflect because
God is there.
And I know it.
And I know
I need to let go.
Like this nameless chick.
Who spoke to me
In such a dramatic way.
She made me want
To cry out to Jesus.
And plea for help.
In such a helpless world.
Void of hope
Yet consumed with suffering.
And it pains me.
To think.
That This is what I wanted.
I gave up Jesus
For This.
Uh huhh.
And thats my life.
Tyler
sweet action. see you there then maybe
posted Nov 17
Tyler
so I see on Ians page that youre going to the attic
tomorrow?
posted Nov 16
Harvest Peach
my name is ian btw. lol
posted Nov 15
Harvest Peach
sweet. : ) thanks for the support. make sure to say hi.
posted Nov 15
lefttobleed
Eh its cool. I mean Im sure I can go to it if I wanted
to. But yeah I bet it is tough deciding where to go
especially if you don\'t know what you want to do. Just
pick a field that you like. What are you interested in?
posted Aug 17
lefttobleed
lol alot of people I know said it wasn\'t too great but
it was still good. lol But which school did you go
visit? No I haven\'t started yet. I was inroled to go
to itt tech 2 years ago but I was 17 and I needed a
cosigner to sign for me and I asked her and she said no
and since then I havent treid. I know I can make it in
there but I have been told there credits don\'t trasfer
hardly anywhere so that wouldn\'t be too good if I did
go either way.
posted Aug 10
lefttobleed
Hey hannah! Thanks for the request! Well my name is
ruben. Whats up and how has your summer been? Mine has
been busy but fun. lol One thing I just finished was
helping my freind put music on there myspace profile.
Well ttyl
posted Aug 02
Malcolm MONSTER
haha:) cutie. ily2
posted Mar 22