Official Breakup.... *cry*
Posted January 8, 2007
...if you have been reading my past blogs, you might have known about the complications my gf and i have been having. anyways, i haven't been able to contact her since the last time i said i could. anyways, as you can see, she is off of my friends list, and if you've noticed, she's off of my myspace friends and my MSN list as well. i have officially decided that it's over, even tho i can't tell her in anyway, although the date i will keep in my mind is still going to be when she broke up with me. anyways, right now i dont know what i'm going to do with my life, and i probably dont have anything planned, but still... i'm now officially single. so yeah, mourn my loss, and mabe soon to be yours, but never grieve, cuz love is the basis of suffering.
When i look back at it, i dont think that it looks like it would've worked out anyways... not that i believe my dad, but he told me that when her dad called, she was in the background or on the other line or something (which doesn't seem plausible because they dont have a home phone, 3-way calling, and it was a cell phone) and that she didn't really like me in the first place. but i mean, after i decided to just let it go (altho i haven't really gotten over it) i was able to see something..... i think she only wanted to save a [my] life, and so she faked loving me. altho i still have doubts, obviously, because so many things poiint against that, i can't let her go so easily, because she was my first lover, and as you've heard, first time hurts. but now if ne1 asks, i'm single. im single and hating it-- no, not it, hating myself because i'm single. yeah that's right, i hate myself, i hate life, and i hate this world.
enough of the hating on things, because i dont hate her, and i never will. she was... my only chance and i blew it... im going to stop typing now in case anything happens.....
