- Listener
BLOODY_ADAKU
Age: 16
Location: Oakland, CA
Joined On: Jun 24, 2006
Occupation: Student
Website: myspace.com/darkangelofhell666
E, I will love you forever. Don't u forget that. *kissez and hugglez*
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/> Hey if you want to read my lyrics, please start by reading the first blog which will explain the details. Or, if you want to jump right to my lyrics because you've already read it, here's the first song, which is at the end of the blogs.
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/> CRISS ANGEL IS MY FUCKING IDOL!!! I LUV HIM!!! HEY CRISS IF UR READING THIS MAKE ME UR FRIEND!!!!!! (damn wut are the chances)
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WOOT! GO MS. SWAN!!!
roflz yeah okay you can shake roflz ^_^ here are some funny videos from Mad TV's Ms. Swan:
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/> Ms. Swan at the ATM 06:03
/> Ms. Swan at the drive thru 03:32
/> Ms. Swan interviews a man to run her salon 07:08
/> Ms. Swan as an eyewitness 06:44
/> Ms. Swan at the video store 05:02
/> Ms. Swan at the movies 05:37
/> Ms. Swan at the hypnotist 05:21
/> Ms. Swan at The Sharpest Image 06:21
/> Ms. Swan at the DMV 05:28
/> Ms. Swan as a phone sex operator 04:25
/> Ms. Swan on a dating game 06:21
/> Ms. Swan on Gimme A Clue gameshow 05:20
/> Ms. Swan on Lowered Expectations 04:09
/> Ms. Swan at the bar 06:22
/> Ms. Swan the dancing queen 06:56
/> Ms. Swan at the customs 06:14
/> Ms. Swan on an airplane 06:27
/> Ms. Swan homecoming 06:15
/> Ms. Swan the vampire slayer 05:04
/> Ms. Swan the X Files 06:08
/> Ms. Swan sings the Mad TV theme song 02:01
/> Ms. Swan and other girls at the Moulin 03:26
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Important info to read if you want to read my lyrics!!!
Okay, so you might have noticed that the lyrics don't seem to be listed on the list of blogs. That's cuz purevolume only lists the five most recent blogs. But if you click on any of them, all of them show up. My lyrics are at the end of the lists. I suggest, since they are listed chronologically from the end, is the start at the last page on the bottom and work your way up, even though that may get a bit annoying. Also, since there's only oh so much room for each page to list the blogs, it gets cut off so that you can't exactly view the text, but the text is still there. To solve this, just highlight the whole page and you'll be able to view it all. (Ctrl+A) Again, remember that the lyrics are labeled with LYRICS: (title) on the blog title, and my notes are labeled with NOTES: (title) on the blog title. All others are just regular blog posts. If this is still confusing, I'm sorry; I'll try to fix it as much as possible.
Fucked it Up For Good
I'm guessing on the date, but....
Okay, so for a short while, if you've noticed, my gf added me back as a friend both here and on myspace. But as you can see now, she's off... Anyways, here's how I totally fucked it up this time. So she sent me a message on Myspace one day on Jan. 22 and so we've been talking like one or two messages a day since then, until one day about a week after, my dad caught me with a message from her, and so he asked me if we were still talking. I hate lying, no matter to who, and i'm really bad at it too, and since it was unnecessary for me to lie to him, since there was evidence right there anyways, i said, yeah we've been talking since the 22nd. so he's like "you know, she's lying to you, and she's got her own bf back down there" and "i dont want any more trouble from her dad cuz it's really a hassle to have to deal with it all" and stuff like that, but i dont buy that. well, i know that she already was doing stuff w/o me cuz we're only holding an open relationship (for those who are clueless, that's when you're still together but something is keeping you from being together, so you go your separate ways for now until you can be together again) which my dad doesn't understand about, and the stuff about her dad being a hassle, i dont buy that cuz my dad's the one who's throwing the fit when he finds me talking to her, and her dad dont care, except because my dad does. anyways, so when my dad's like "she dont like you" or "she's lying to you" or "she's gonna hurt you badly in the future, you'll see" i dont buy that. anyways, so afterwards, that night, my dad called her dad like a million times (almost literally) and so when he finally picked up the phone, he was like "this better be good cuz you're calling me so many times" and so my dad's like "your daughter's contacting my son still" (of course, i wasn't there when they were talking, i'm only basing it on wut my mom told me) and so her dad said "well i can't stop my daughter from talking with your son" and so i'm assuming that since he knew, he made her take me off of her friends lists for myspace and purevolume again. i feel really bad about that because it was me who was careless which caused a chain reaction that apparently fucked up everything. anyways, i've decided to ignore my dad from now on, like not be with him or w/e and now whenever i'm even in the same room with him, i get this strong tense feeling of animosity, and i can't stand being with him anymore. but i just feel like E would have willingly taken me off because i caused all of this... and if you're reading this, i'm sorry... and i mean it, not just cuz i want you back, and not just cuz i want to talk to you again, but because i love you, and i love us, and i dont want to end that...
anyways so later when i had to go see the couselor, my dad said he was giving up, that he wasn't going to try to support the family, that he wasn't going to get involved anymore, that he was just going to be independent, that he wasn't going to give a rats ass about trying anymore. so he said that he wasn't going to get in the way of E and me again, but i'm still kicked off the computer. so far my mom's still trying to make the effort to make the family a whole again, but i'm not going to cooperate, and i've decided that and it's set it stone.
so if you so me gone, that's cuz i can't get on the computer. i try to use my PSP once in a while, but it won't let me log onto purevolume so dont expect me on purevolume much. if you want to contact me, i'll be on gaiaonline.com once in a while. my account is darkangelofhell666 if you ever want to talk to me at all or comment to me... or be my friend.... but i can't be on too much as it takes a really long time to load, and the only reason i'm on purevolume now is cuz i'm at the library, but i'm rarely here so dont expect me. Well, hopefully i'll be able to use the comp again. =/
=(my life is fucked)=
Official Breakup.... *cry*
...if you have been reading my past blogs, you might have known about the complications my gf and i have been having. anyways, i haven't been able to contact her since the last time i said i could. anyways, as you can see, she is off of my friends list, and if you've noticed, she's off of my myspace friends and my MSN list as well. i have officially decided that it's over, even tho i can't tell her in anyway, although the date i will keep in my mind is still going to be when she broke up with me. anyways, right now i dont know what i'm going to do with my life, and i probably dont have anything planned, but still... i'm now officially single. so yeah, mourn my loss, and mabe soon to be yours, but never grieve, cuz love is the basis of suffering.
When i look back at it, i dont think that it looks like it would've worked out anyways... not that i believe my dad, but he told me that when her dad called, she was in the background or on the other line or something (which doesn't seem plausible because they dont have a home phone, 3-way calling, and it was a cell phone) and that she didn't really like me in the first place. but i mean, after i decided to just let it go (altho i haven't really gotten over it) i was able to see something..... i think she only wanted to save a [my] life, and so she faked loving me. altho i still have doubts, obviously, because so many things poiint against that, i can't let her go so easily, because she was my first lover, and as you've heard, first time hurts. but now if ne1 asks, i'm single. im single and hating it-- no, not it, hating myself because i'm single. yeah that's right, i hate myself, i hate life, and i hate this world.
enough of the hating on things, because i dont hate her, and i never will. she was... my only chance and i blew it... im going to stop typing now in case anything happens.....
20 Fucking Years...
It's December 23rd, 2006, two days before Christmas, my parents' 20th anniversary... not only that, it's a disaster. I'm holding my third glass of wine as I write this blog at 1929 hours, wanting to drink myself away.
It's really hard without the one you love; I've been talking about her all along. Well, first I'll tell you our current relationship: we're still together, just holding an open relationship. But even still, it's hard because my dad called her dad, telling her that he doesn't like the fact that we're dating and that he doesn't like the fact that we converse with each other. And I guess her dad, just like any other parents, would respect a fellow adult and so he sides with my dad, even though he originally never approved of E dating [anyone]. So now her dad will tell my dad everything that we do. So one day, E signed onto MSN and I said hey, but she said she couldn't talk, and I asked her why. She said her dad would stop the use of the computer if we talked because my dad wished for us never to be in contact. The next day, her dad tells my dad and my dad said that he was blaming him, and so my dad found out what we talked about and he got pissed at me...
Anyways, what does this have to do with the party? Well, you'll see later. But first, the disaster. Okay, so last night, my parents got in a big argument over my sister. I don't know what it was about, but I was in the car blasting my music into my ears while they were yelling at each other, so I don't know what was said, but this morning, my mom was still mad at my dad. Okay, so my dad had to go out for some reason and I had to follow him to get my passport renewed, and I was going to go Christmas shopping for myself. So my dad had to get ready for the party, but he was out, so he told me to call my mom and tell her to start getting ready, and so I did. I don't know whether she did or not because I was with my dad, but later she called back and my dad answered and she said she wanted to talk to me. So I picked up and she told me to tell my dad that she would be going to a different party and wouldn't be back until late. I'm like, "Why don't you just tell him yourself? You were just on the phone with him...", you know, and that just totally didn't make any sense to me, but she argued, "Well why didn't he talk to me directly, huh?" And she was acting like a total bitch, I must admit. But still, she pissed me off because it involved me when I didn't want to get in between, and she was like taking her anger out on me instead. So my dad decided to rush home when I didn't get to go Christmas shopping, because he wanted to find out what was going on and settle something formally. When we got home, I decided that sparks would fly, and I didn't want to be a part of it so I went upstairs and blasted my music on the computer. Eventually my dad told me to help him around the house and by then, when I saw them the next time they seemed to be okay with each other, and they seemed to have settled their differences. So yeah, it was okay until then.
So I don't know what's gotten over me, but I was suddenly so sad, thinking about E and how I don't have her with me. A song came on the karaoke. It was Chinese, but the lyrics were something that I could relate to, meaning that this guy is in love with this girl, even though he's not supposed to be... or something along that line. And so that's exactly what E and I are doing. Neither side's parents approve of our relationship, I can't see her, she can't see me, we can't talk to each other... I just feel like shit right now, that's all. I fear that what we have is over, since the chance of us being together seems so small... I was even thinking of breaking up and killing myself because I felt so down and depressed... I mean, I wonder what she's doing and my hideous thoughts make me cringe and break down. Right now, I probably feel that it's better that she goes out with someone else, preferrably Jacob since those two seem to love each other so much more... I don't know; I might be drunk right now, but still, that doesn't change the way I feel...
Comments are welcome...
Life Stolen, Dreams Shattered...
HORRIBLE day today... first i wake up to find out there's no school, which you may think is good, but i have to make it up at the end of the year, and i have so much stuff that is pushed back until the new year or after winter break... anyways, so i'm home, and my mom leaves for work, so i decide to sneak in the backyard and have a smoke since my parents dont [didn't] know i smoked and so when i come back in, my mom is there because she came back because she forgot that my sis might have school. so yeah i get a scolding from my dad because my mom is such a coward, and so my life is fucked up even more. my dad now is saying what he said when i started cutting, that i have to give up my emo-ness like stop growing out my hair and get a haircut, stop dressing in all black and wear different colors, etc. all because he thinks that i got the idea of smoking from my emo-ness, which i didn't (i mean, advertisements are all over the place, geez, not saying that that's where i got the idea, cuz pplz in the public do it as well) same with cutting, that was just pure experience with the outside world, which you can't prevent. and he blames it all on the internet, my music, and my friends, which is all false, because it's not the internet, the music, and the pplz around me that make me who i am, its who i am that makes me like the sites i go onto, the music i listen to, and the pplz i hang around. but he is so obscure he totally doesn't get that and never will. so right now, he took off my main source of music on the comp, which is uninstalling WMP (windows media player) (but i can still listen to MP3s because i have a PSP), he's probably going to restrict some internet sites, if not the whole internet, he's not letting me live life the way i want to (actually i dont want to but you know wut i mean) like making me dress and act differently, which also affects my future dreams because i can't exercise or practice wut i want to be in the future, and he took away one pack of my cigs, even tho i still have some stashed away, but i'm planning on quitting now (i was never addicted so i'm okay) because i dont want to run the risk of getting caught again. but even still, i think about all my losses, and i get so down and depressed, i've been cutting more than i've ever done before (which he doesn't know, but probably has an idea) and i feel like ending my life, but i dont want to leave my gf brokenhearted cuz i love her so much; she's the only way out of this mess, the only way to save me, and so i'm stlil hoping, still wishing for that infinitessimal chance of leaving here alive and never having to deal with my parents again, at least not in this manner. but yeah i really need someone to help me and to save me.... pplz who are reading this, plz send me a message (whether its private message or comment) saying whatever you want, whether you want to criticize me, or comfort me, or just curse the hell out of me. seriously, i dont care what you say, i just want to know that you are willing to spend the time and have already been willing to spend the time to read this, and to send me a message with your thoughts. thank you everyone, this means alot.
Lord Of The Strings 777
Hey man wassup? Just wanderin how ya doin. Yeah send me
a message so we can talk! OH yeah have ya heard the new
demon hunter? IT fricken ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted Oct 22
Sleeping Lionheart
R u hopeong 2 get both FF 13 Games for the PS3 when
they come out??
posted May 24
Sleeping Lionheart
NO WAY MAN!!!! R u a fan of the ff series and Where the
hell did u get that amazeing pic of SEPHEROTH!!!
posted May 22
vlad dracul
hey! hello! I invite to you to listen to more in:
%u2026 www.virb.com/almadeacero
posted Mar 11
vlad dracul
hey, do you like the metal? listen
this www.purevolume.com/alejandroponce www.purevolume.c
om/metalhardsoul
posted Mar 07
lukewarmsteak
Hey Check out Our two songs on Purevolume
target="_blank"> You are Guaranteed to love our
Music Please add us to your favorites list \"If music
is our identity, How do we Look?\" ~Jordan Embury p.s.
sorry about your dad... i had one of those myself... =(
posted Feb 23
Deigo
Hi listen UnKnown Project :
posted Feb 19
findmylostsoul66621
hey there my love just wanted to say i love you still
so much well talk to u later i guess \"E\"
posted Jan 27