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[APPARATUS] TM

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Info

Age: 19

Location: Glen Ellyn, IL

Joined On: Aug 15, 2006

Website: www.xxcontraversy.deviantart...

Friends

The Vandon Army

Des Moines, IA

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Favorite Artists

Ashlee Simpson

Pop

AMBER PACIFIC

Rock / Pop Punk / Punk

No One Goes Home

Alternative / Indie / Powerpop

glass jaw

Hardcore / Experimental

16th Avenue

Pop Punk / Emo / Rock

Secondhand Serenade

Acoustic / Rock / Emo

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Billboard

My name happens to be Sammie.

Everything and everyone is changing. I don't know anything any more. I don't know who my real friends are. I don't know who my fake friends are. I don't know who I can trust. I don't know who I can't trust. I'm a bitch. Get the fuck over it. Everything in my life is changing, and I can't help it. I don't know what to think any more. I'm a wreck. People enjoy twisting my words - all the fucking time. I'm distant from everyone. You probably don't like me. I probably don't like you all that much either. I hope to die before age 70. I've never been in a healthy relationship. It'd be nice to have some consistancy in my life for once. Yet I doubt it will happen for a while. Everyone's dying. I'm an aspiring photographer and artist. I'm extremely liberal in my beliefs.
No swimming or you'll turn into a ghost.

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MySpace
aim: escape your lips

Photos

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Blog

January 21

wow i sound pathetic.

this blog.. well, it may sound a bit pathetic. and.. depressing. but. oh well.

[sigh] i guess i've never been in a healthy relationship. every time i start a new one, i end up getting manipulated.. or used.. or cheated on.. or lied to.. or worse. [the last one.. was worse. yeah.] i was talking to my friend Callum the other day, and i realized how.. i don't even know what a healthy relationship LOOKS like, let alone what i's like to be in one. my last relationship was with this kid i met in rehab [big mistake.] named Luke. he's great when he's sober.. but when he's stoned/drunk.. he's uncontrollable and unreasonable. he ended up raping me 3 times in one night. anddd i havn't seen him since. but, since that happened, i've been wanting a healthy relationship so bad. even if it only lasted for a few weeks, i'd be soo happy to just know what i'ts like to have someone genuinly care for me and respect me. [sigh] idk. i guess part of me is only looking for a relationship to feel safe. andd part of me is looking for one because i can actually feel now. [sigh] idk what i'm going to do. i just need to be with a boy who will respect me and love me. and not hurt me.

will i ever find that boy? :/