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commennt meh.

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i miss you.

like crazy.











nothigns the same &
everythings all fucked
up. i fucked everything
up,

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shes curled up like a ball
In the dark corner of the room
people come and go
but they always leave to soon

her eyes well up
the tears roll down her cheek
there was no one to catch her fall
her dreams dried up with the creek

the thoughts in her head
run so fast, there going wild
the only thing to slow then down
are the contents of her bottle

the darkness is growing darker
the walls are closing in
she trys to run away
Inhibited by her sin

the guilt she feels is overwhelming
the knife lay by her side
as the blood outlines the pain
she closes her eyes, but theres no where to hide

her eyes are closed
her broken heart has stopped
she once had it all
she lost it to time, time beat by the clock

the sun is rising
the sunshine here to stay
we were too late
she has been taken right where she lay

the theme song to my life

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June 14

dont you hate it when you
lose someone thats really
important to you. dont you
hate it when someone that
you love with all your heart
doesn't love you back like they
used to.

i'm losing everyone. i have been
known to push people away alot.
i guess i dont need anyone, ill live
my own life by myself. i dont need
anyones help.

i trusted you so much and you left
me. you had my whole heart and you
smashed it into little pieces. i can't sleep
at night because i think of you. i can't do
anything because everything reminds me
of you. you told me before you left that
when you came back you were going
to work everything out with me. you said
that we'd figure everything out when you
got back. you lied to me. your over me. you
dont even care anymore. you said that when
you came back thigns were going to be differnet.
yeah things are different. they are definately.
they are worse. i LOVE you still and you dont
care. you got over me while you were away.
you dont even want to be with me. you dont
miss me like i miss you every night. i miss talking
to you. i miss knowing that you'll always have
my back. i miss you period. no one has my back
and i just have to go at shit alone. i hate watching
my ass all the time because someone is gonna try
to fuck me over because everyone thinks its funny.

i went through enough shit this school
year, yeah it was one of the worsts. i
went through hell at school. rumors went
through the school about me. you were
there and you helped me through most of
it. you cared about me, you loved me. i guess
im just going to have to realize that peoples
feelings change and no one is going to stay
with you forever, yeah friends & people are
there for a little bit and they will stay and help
you through some of your problems but they
will come & go. they will never stay.

someday i want you to read all of this
and i want just one single tear to roll down
your face. i want you to care again. i want
you to feel the feelings that i feel everyday.
i want you to go through what i went through
this year.

i want you to love me again.
♥

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things have definately been the
worst lately. so i just got back from
vacation and your supposed to have
fun on vacation. well mine sucked. all
of my famliy was there and i really don't
do good with big groups of annoying
little kids. just life sucks period.

i miss you again. i was just thinking
on the way back on the four and a
half hour drive about how our relation
ship was. and i was thinking about all
the things that we've both been through
together and all the good times we've had.
like just looking back on how much we used
to be together and how much we would
just love each others presences. now its
like we can't even be in the same room with
out fighting. i hate it.

first of all.
- i love you so much you dont even
understand. when we first were
together i depended on you so much
and you helped me through so much
of the shit that i had to go through.
you used to make everything else
better. i now understand that you
cant depend on anyone else but
yourself becuase you will always
get let down. yeah you used to care
about me so much. now its like you
could give a shit less if i died or
something like that happened.
you made me feel like i was needed.
like you actually loved me and you
needed me in your life. but you didn't.
you gave a shit less. you dont need me.
you know that you have all them other
girls. if you want all of them, its fine go
with them. dont worry about me.

no matter how much the shit
does hurt, i'll find a way to push
through it. ill have to find a way.

just to let you know if you read this
--your the only reason that i have not
killed myself. because i dont know how
you would react--

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