Blog
faking
Posted December 14 | Leave a Comment
yeah, faking it. mabe we all do this at some point in time. some live it out every waking moment and only in their dreams are free. my friend told me that he hates it when people lie to themselves. i don't even know him that well but I would do anything for him, don't ask me why. there are just some people who you feel like you are ok with. i agree with the whole thing. it must be miserable to always be trying to please someone by killing yourself in one way or another. that just goes to sh… read more
so, the difference is?
Posted November 17 | Leave a Comment
so many people want to be the one that is different. Someone who is not like the rest. but if we are all tring against each other to be differnen, are we not the same? every person was a kid once. and all a kid wants is to be loved no matter what. through growing up people are battered, abused, shut inside, shut out. and this all changes them. We become the people the don't care or care too much. still, sometimes hidden behind a locked door, is that same want to be loved, held, to be safe and… read more
different
Posted September 9 | Leave a Comment
yeah, we think we bad... come on you know it! we think that we are all that matters in this world. hey at least i did. when someone cut me off, when i got into a shout out with anyone, if someone forgot me or what it was always against me. going somewhere else in the world. seeing how people in another place lived, how they were ok, how they were happy without a car or 'their music' or much of anything for that matter. they didn't count calories, or do crunches... they lived life. and i got… read more
Really????
Posted August 23 | Leave a Comment
Ok, I am gonna be honest here. Wow. Seriously I am, here it goes, I am a liar. I am a liar and a thief. A liar, a thief, a two faced, crazy, jacked up on ice cream, pathetic little girl. In saying that would you believe me if I said that someone loves me enough to take the time to be with me every time I need it? No, because it is crazy! No one wants to hang with someone who is so far gone right? But there you go, 24 hours, any time, I am loved. Then it goes even farther than that! Hey, this… read more
Posted August 7 | Leave a Comment
why am i afraid? Afraid to talk to the people I know and care about and to the random strangers that are torn up inside? Well there is good news I am working on it and i am no longer afraid as I once was. People need to know how awesome they really are and no one is telling them that. So now I am. And who cares, you know what? I am a Jesus chaser, yes I love him with all that is in me! Now you know...... But does that change anything? read more
speaking
Posted July 14 | Leave a Comment
Singing in the faces of the people that need some exitement. Grabbing the faces of the people who just have no clue an pulling them close. Hoping that somehow you are reaching into their hearts and freaking them out with all the strength that you have. Not a citizen of this world, being transformed rather than conformed... read more
Just thinking
Posted June 15 | Leave a Comment
I was just thinking... I was thinking that a lot of the things that I spend my time thinking about are so not worth it. Like shopping online when I don't plan on actually buying anything, reading my brothers' SI just because it is there and just running through my head all of the fantastical things that my future might bring. Lamentations, a book in the collection of the bible, talks about the anguish of loss and destruction. Some of it is so beautiful, heart wrenchingly real about the pain o… read more
bent under the feet
Posted June 11 | Leave a Comment
Hey, I want to be the one that takes this world that people see as normal and blah, and turn it into some adventurous journey that will not end even in death. I know I am not cool enough to pull that off on my own so I have time set aside so I can be with the coolest person ever each day. Some days I am just like NO I don't feel like it, but by then I cannot escape it. And when it is all over I realize that escape is not what I really wanted... Oh! Yes, my life was minorly destroyed last week… read more
making mistakes
Posted June 9 | Leave a Comment
if how I learn is making mistakes, either I am very ignorant or I have made more than my share of mistakes. if I hadn't done this, or that or the other thing... read more
Nice enough
Posted May 22 | Leave a Comment
Seeming is not being. What can anyone possible do to make themselves feel worse about themselves then to deny the truth and lie to themselves so that their outward appearance is accepted by someone else? I know that killing someone and other stuff might come to mind, but here I am talking about your average human being. It really hurts. Especially when you find that one person who likes you when you have your guard down and all your mistakes come spewing out and they take you in their arms and… read more
no one gets it all
Posted May 9 | Leave a Comment
when you want something so badly but you can't have it, why then do you want it all the more? so many of us here in the US have like everything essential to like yet we are not living in the joy that we should be. i guess that proves that 'stuff' does not make you happy. the only thing that can fulfill you so deeply that you won't settle for less is knowing your maker, knowing and basking in the perfection that he laid down for you. one thing does not make sense to me though. he says to lay y… read more
lingering light
Posted May 5 | Leave a Comment
well, when you have something to say, but no one to say it to what do you do? when you are about to split open you are so full up with a smile what happens next? i say go hug somebody, squeeze them so tight that some of what you are feeling gets into their hearts as well. then when you say goodbye with every breathe they take the lingering light of your soul brings a hint of a smilt to their face. read more
what is with the facad
Posted April 30 | Leave a Comment
what is it with us people? who do so many of us hide. we hide from our friends, our family, the people we casually meet out and about, the other people at school, the team, just about everyone. are we so unsure about who we are that we need to piece together this mask that we wear whenever we are with anyone else? sometimes there is that person who knows who they are for the most part and is strong enough to live that out. you know who they are. the ones who smile genuinely and compliment you… read more
you, hey you. . . yeah you!!!
Posted April 29 | Leave a Comment
you're gonna be my downfall. because you mean everything to me. read more
thinking
Posted April 28 | Leave a Comment
friends are a powerful thing in life. 'guard your heart above all else, for out of is spring the issues of life'- proverbs. i have seen this happen to me, it is kind of like you dunnea notice it when it is going on, but after the fact you go- woah was that me? all my friends are totally awesome. but when i am around the smarty-pants ponderers i get challenged so much. sometimes i just go away because the words are too heavy, but it is nice to sit and watch them get so heated. when considerin… read more
