PureVolume

anonymous to the world at large

i just want to take pictures and paint things. i want people look at them, to spark thoughts in their skulls, to have dreams float around the fluffy gray matter like koi in a pond with lilies blooming and lovely green moss around the edges.

there was this guy who played cover songs with his guitar in the bar of some place in the mountains. he wasn't good looking or stylish. he was in love with music. he doesn't have millions of unknown fans, his fans come to see him play and sing along with the chorus in hushed voices. gloriously unknown by the american people, this guy played music to his heart's content. he looked like he was happy with the way his life is. there was still life sparkling in his eyes.

can i be content with that sort of life, doing what i love to the recognition and praise of just a handful of genuine souls?????????????????????

life is beautiful no matter the state of my rotting brain and decaying heart. life is beautiful in spite of my discontent and vain grasping. life is beautiful. life is.

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an angry addams

so there are these certain people who don't comfortably fit anywhere... but that is amazing. if it is their element and they are in their essence, then power to them. i love it for sure. at the moment i am in my hate the world mood... yes i am, so i want to punch some big dude in the face and scream and scream and scream out all feeling till nothing more is left. the moon is gorgeous right now... how can i be all pissed off when such a moon hangs in the sky?

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branches on trees

i'm not the one you need. that is clear now, i'm not the one you want. tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. that is true, the hurt is still incredible. for whatever i have done, i pray that i am forgiven, i am so sorry that i am not what you wished... the sun has risen and set twice, it rises a third time now. the world is as it should be. time runs mercilessly on, seeming to turn a blind eye on all of the miseries of each day, turning the page to the next without hesitation. maybe one of these new days we will both find that our dreams will be fulfilled, i pray that your burden is lighter each day and you love with abandon. snow clings to the branches of the trees. incredible how the flakes weigh down the boughs. they nearly sweep the ground. snapping off under the pressure, some litter the ground, fallen from their towering place to the frozen earth.

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well then!

last night white flakes of rain that got frozen in the sky floated down. they started to fall down out of the clouds as i ate dinner with three people i love. i was told that i was loved. i was told that i was cared for. someone fought for me with words, and it felt good to be defended. even with all that i lost my appetite and could only stomach a few leaves of lettuce and some mushroom slices. when we all got to the big house, driving through the swirling snow throwing itself against the windshield i had found that i wanted to eat some cake. so i did and i woke up then in the early morning not feeling so good. but i still was loved... throwing snow. tangled in a beard, white flakes melt back into rain.

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controlling the pieces

que sera sera... whatever will be, will be... who is in control anyway? is there anything which by worrying and stressing, or by making rules and regulations we can control? i mean there are laws. they are enforced sometimes, but they are changed and cast aside. the world has a small issue. and some see this as a problem, but basically our fate is tied to each other. we can't escape put brothers and sisters in other countries. regardless of the ways we hurt each other, or how we depend on them or them on us, this relationship cannot be severed. we share each other's fate. some believe that the fate is not a good one. that all will end in rubble and fire and misery. some though see beyond it into a peace that no one has yet known. this peace though, cannot be achieved by the efforts of regulation or rules. it is a gift to those who let themselves be loved. so can we bring peace upon ourselves? it seems rather backwards to stress about it, pulling your hair out for peace... then again wars are fought for peace... who really is in control?

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