PureVolume

Meandering....

I have nothing better to do with my life than to sit here on Mrs. Sato's computer and write a stupid blog about i have no idea....

i don't think i know what to do with myself....i'm supposed to be doing homework...or maybe supposed to be leaving for honor band rehearsal up at Kamehameha School..but my ride isn't here and i'm stressing out like crazy right now and i'm freaking out due to the fact that my ride is in Kihei running bloody errands for his father..what the hell? Seriously..but i do know for a fact that that person who is my ride will not read this, so it shouldn't really matter...ARRRRRR

on top of all of this stress..there is this guy that is messing around with my brain...HOLY CRAP..you don't even know..its crazy insane..and i don't know what to do about it..i don't know if i should go with the flow, or if i should just stop it all together..due to the fact that nobody will read this, i will say that i do enjoy the attention and the affection he shows...and gives me...i'm just afraid of the end result...of how my heart is gonna be at the end..i can understand that he's most likely messing around with me...but i don't know for sure..he's quite a hard fellow to read...its just that i'm afraid of where my feelings...how i'll end up getting those things involved and i wouldn't want that to happen..i don't think i could keep up with the whole fooling around charade...

err...i think that's all for now....

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Well...its been quite some time...

I don't have anything better to do right now..its 1:41 in the morning and here i am, on purevolume.com writing a blog...wow...

i don't know what to do with myself anymore...i'm just so totally over everything already and i want to be gone and in the military already...i just don't know how much more i can take until i crack and finally fall apart at the seams....there's only so much a person can take right?

i know i should be letting go...but i'm finding myself holding on tighter than i should be....i know that its been too long already and i just need to stop and realize that i am a princess....under the Most High God...that He thinks that i am fearfully, wonderfully, and beautifully made...i shouldn't have to be comparing and beating myself up about all of this...because its not worth it..

i have so much more to live for in life, why should i waste any more of my time on this?


Quote of the Day...
"Someone can hold your hand, and not hold your heart."

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A Wonderful Valentine's Day..

..Yah, right...i wish...i didn't have a valentine, not like last year....its sucks a lot to not have someone special...my best friend Megan and i went to Front St. Lahaina, and it was a slap in both of our faces to see the couples everywhere..to make up for that, we each bought something from wet seal...i bought this really cool red skinny jeans for $10..i am super stoked...so stoked that i'm gonna wear them to church tomorrow....

So, anyways...i don't know, i had a lot of time to think about why i didn't have a valentine this year...i don't know what makes this year any different...well, i do but i don't want to acknowledge that..but err..its just so frustrating sometimes to know that you have that feeling inside where you feel as if you aren't good enough...and that you aren't going to be good enough for anybody...i don't know, its really depressing and i don't think you want to read about it when i go into utter detail...

I know that this is so totally random, but i just watched The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian..and William Mosely couldn't be anymore handsomer....sigh...he's just so stunning...i hope that God will bless me with a guy who kinda looks like him and has a british accent...that would be great...and i can honestly say that the guy who played Edmund is getting up there on the handsome scale...i'm most glad to say that i'm happy that he grew up...but i think that is all i have to say about that...

Other than all of that, life is okay i suppose...it could always be better, but in my sense, it could be a whole lot better...it just kinda sucks right now, but i'm gonna grin and bear it and just suck it up..and deal with it when the time comes...i think that's all i'm gonna end with...

[Quote of the Day: "Love is like an ocean, you can swim in it, but don't drown..."]

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So...

Why hello...this is the first time i'm actually posting a blog on this bad boy..but i have yet to see who reads it...i think that its pretty cool that its out there for everyone to read...which is pretty rad...but, i just thought that i would write this little piece of joy in my wonderful profile thing mabobber thing..so yah, i don't think i have anything else to write..hopefully more later...

Quote of the Day...
"Having had considerable time to ponder on it, i've decided that I LOVE YOU more than most people can imagine..."

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