PureVolume

9/16/09

Here's whats up.
My life is so weird latley. Idk wat the heck is even going on.
This past summer has been so bipolar. I fell in love, really, for the first time, it was real. I had my heart broken several times by people i thought would never hurt me. I made friends i know i'll keep for the rest of my life. My life has been a twisted downward spiral since i was 15, but im slowly pulling myself out. Soon it'll be time to get out of this place but for right now I'm just gnna make the best of where i'm at now. Its weird spending my nights alone, but latley i just cant stand to be around people. I dont know who to trust anymore, but i dont kno who i cnt trust, so i dont bother to discern. There are 6 people that i know i can trust and only 2 of those have never let me down. This summer taught me who my true friends are and who is just a fake. I love my friends to death but i want to be alone so much latley and idk y. I have a few friends who I know are unconditionally always there for me, but latley i feel so alone. ill sit in my room for hours and just think. Im tired of trying to change who i am to conform to everyone else. Im not going to become someone that i despise. Im happy with the way i ilive my life, im not gnna change, so dont ask me to. I find it hard to look for the best i people when all i know is betrayal, but i keep lookin anyway. I've found between 1-4 people who i find to be virtuous, or trustworthy. Sometimes i wanna crawl in a ditch and die, and other times i just love to get down and party. Im walking through my life in a dreamstate, anyone is willing to walk it with me, i need some company. Im tired of friends who only want what u have to give THEM and im tired of all these stupid girls who are in it for the freakin ATTENTION. God, i hate being used and im over getting hurt. I'm done being walked all over, im gonna stand up and take control of my life. Im almost 18 its time to grow up and be my own person. Im over the crap ive been thru, its in the past. Im leaving it right here. From here on out my life is mine again.
Im out.

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