PureVolume

Dropped out of school when i was about 8 years of age. I've been out on the streets all of my life until i was taken in by some people. My new "family" sucks. They chain me in my closet and will only let me come out when there's company. I'm usually beaten with a bat with nails in it, a toaster, and on occasion a hot coat hanger up the butt and that's about it. Yeah i guess life's good. I get to play video games now and then. And the new nintendo 64 is the best console ever. I like playing zelda, super mario kart, super smash brothers, and James bond 007. Of course I'm only allowed to play for 10 min a day because my mommy says that if i stare at my 10" tv too long my brain will turn into goo and seep out my ears. When i was in school i pretty much failed every class. Never studied or tried because thinking gives me internal bleeding around my head. I dropped out because everyone all the bitches in my school were making fun of the way i looked. I think my yellow goggles are pretty badass though. I Always took my pillow to school too just incase I fell asleep in school. That was so emberassing because when I sleep I drool a lot and by the time class was over it all hardened and it was white. So kids used to tease me and call me a cock sucker. I never really got what that meant so i just laughed with them. I don't get how to suck a rooster so the must've been talking about something else. Never really been into girls it has always been hard to talk to them because i have a really bad stutter so when i do talk to them its a yes or no movement with my head. I have an 8 track player. I love Stevie Nicks. I usually sing "edge of seventeen" by her when I'm getting the hot coat hanger stuck up my ass. My master says that i sound like a fuckin constipated pig because of how much i squeel. I recently found out that they make computers now my favorite game is world of warcraft. That game is da shit yo! After that i started listening to 50 cent and started getting my masters old pants and wearing them down to my knees. Then i found out you needed to wear this thing called underwear?, just incase they fell too low. It happened to me when i was about to exercise. I bent over to touch my toes and the whole room cleared the fuck out. Then i accidentally made the mistake of misunderstanding someone. A cop had just pulled me over because my master gave me this stuff that he said would make me fly. So the cop pushed me up against a building and told me to spread my cheeks and lift my sack. I was trippin balls pretty good. So, I pulled down my droors and actually spread my ass apart and lifted my nuts. So i was was arrested and put in jail. It was better than my room. They fed me and i even got to take a shower. And i met this really nice guy that said if i stayed with him he would show me a nice time. So I tought after all that had happened it could'nt hurt to have another friend. Boy was i wrong, it hurt really, really, really bad. When he said a good time i didn't know he meant he was going to ram his dick into my bumhole. I asked him if it was supposed to bleed like that and he said that was normal. As soon as i got out i went and bought a whole lot of vasoline. I was stuck in my closet a good week after that happened. Even though he's the one that told me i could fly. When i was about 16 I got into this thing called pornography. I usually look at it whenever i get my turn online. I think its pretty much the best thing next to cable tv. And it works perfect because i cant get any girls anyway, so y not go online and lie about who i am right. Yea, so i was just set free yesterday and it was really exciting. He blindfolded me and told me he was going to drop me off at a random destination. I ended up at the fuckin north pole. It was sweet. I greeted by that fuckin annoying talking snowman and he wasnt any help so I took his hat off and he melted. The most amazing thing happened. Iwas about 5 min. into the run for a place to stay and i passed out. When i woke up there was a bunch of santa's strippers around me. It sounded like tey were speaking a different language. I had no idea where they were going to take me but i just followed them cuz they were hot. There was this giagantic fuckin candy cane and all i was concentrated on was eating it. It opened up and there was an elevator so me and santa's strippers got in it. I did feel really bad in it though. As we were riding up i kinda had to let one out and i tried as hard as i could not to but the pressure was building up. Thank god i silenced it cuz then i was able to try to blame it on one of them. At about 4 seconds into it it fuckin reaked. They all knew it was me because i never knew that girls are incapable of doing that. I was so pissed, hat had to have been the longest candy cane ever. We held our breathes for atleast 2 minutes. But it all paid off because when we got to the top there he was. The fat mother fucker himself. Some call him saint nick,some chris fuckin cringle, it was santa! I was so happy until he told me that i was on the naughty list. Who would have ever fuckin guessed that you could be on the naughty list for being a fat fuck. I didn't want to be on that list and he didn't want a fat kid with yellow goggles crying, so we came to a compromise. He would give me a Wii fit so i could lose enough weight to be on the good list and stop crying. I used it every day,along with protein and less food. Eventually the game made me so much skinnier and a great dancer. But i thought that dancing was gay. So i decided to take up cheer leading. That was soo cool. I eventually retired from everything and bought a house on the beach. As you can see there are all kinds of babes out here. The girl laying on the towel, yea thats my old bitch. i finally dumped her though and now I'm scared becasue shes stalking me and still likes me after about a year after. So to get rid of all my troubles i went to get my car washed. I picked the right day to go. There were these two girls there that said they would show me a good time. And holy shit, they weren't lying.

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