Captain Jack Five on purevolume™

Ska / Emo / Electronica

Alex Vlisides

aka Good Baby's Daddy Material - Keyboard, Percussion, Bass, Samples, Vocals
Born in Barbados the son of a notorious shrimping kingpin, Julio Juan de Carlosissimo, he rose from the reaches of his crime-ridden family to become arguably the greatest musician of all time.

****FUN FACT**** He believes his mane of leg hair to be his most attractive quality.

Devin Drenoske aka The Really Jewy One - Trumpet, Guitar, Drums, Samples
Supports the band financially thanks to extended string of wins in Little Mr. Semite boys beauty pageants at age 7.

****FUN FACT**** Holds the City record for longest hopscotch board completed. It allegedly contained 1,328 squares of "pure ecstacy."

Alex Larsen aka Jesus Quintana - Vocals, Triangle
In 1998, at the age of 9, he was believed to be the youngest identified sexual predator in the continental United States. He had no pubic hair at the time.

****NOTABLE QUOTE**** "If there's grass on the infield, play ball. And if there's not, I'm gonna fuck it."

Douglas Cowgill aka The Godfather - Trumpet, Euphonium, Backup Tambourine
Made a fortune pirating the high seas as a young man, only to lose it all in an ill-fated attempt at a semi-autobiographical movie entitled "Pirates of the Caribbean 1.5: Pleasure, Plunder, and Pina Coladas."

****FUN FACT**** Claims to have been knighted by the Queen of England for "Playing the shit out of" the trumpet solo from Chumbawumba's 1999 hit, "Tubthumping".

Derek Meyferth aka Seriously, The Biggest Douche I Know - Tuba, Trombone
Was a childhood hand model until the age of 11 when he lost 8 fingers filming an off-brand cereal commercial in which he attempted to retrieve a box of "Koconut Kabooms" out of a wild striped lemur colony.

****FUN FACT**** Does not eat. Intakes calories in a process in which his body turns completed myspace surveys into sustenance.