PureVolume

Today I picked up my guitar....and played it for more than 5 minutes.

This probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but in my life this day was glorious. There was a point in my life where my guitar was basically attached to my hip. Everyday I would play it and couldn't imagine life without the ability to express myself in song. I'd sit in my room for hours completely content with just me and my guitar. Zara and I would sing and play at local shows often, we'd write silly songs about "heartbreak" while still in high school...and we loved singing together. I used to lead worship for a few different churches and I really enjoyed that as well. I've never been a spectacular or crazy amazing guitar player/writer but I loved everything about music and felt like my music was all I really had to give to God because it felt like everything else I did I just screwed up in.

Something happened, and I'm not sure when, but one day I stopped playing. I stopped singing. I stopped writing. I became uninspired.

Over the next few years I would attempt to pick it up again and play, only to be discouraged because I couldn't even remember my own songs. Meanwhile Drew was writing new songs left and right and I became quite jealous and told him so. He said I just couldn't give up and had to keep playing and trying to write...I didn't like that answer because in the past I didn't need to be told this--songs and things just happened...I didn't force it. They used to just come. So when I would sit and try to write things nothing would come and I would just become depressed...and then came to the conclusion I had nothing to write about and my guitar playing days were a phase. This, of course, is ridiculous but that is the way I've been thinking for the past few years.


Today I picked up my beautiful, dusty guitar. My fingertips, callouses gone and way tender, felt that love again. I felt that feeling that I've been waiting for...for three years now...I have been waiting. I want to make those callouses come back and I want to sing and write and play and feel my true love for music again.


I recorded this in our sunroom at our house.
You can hear the traffic from outside.
You can't even hear what chords I'm playing.
I did it in one take, in one sitting, did a second vocal track, it's not finished.
It's just an over all absolutely terrible recording in "garage band"
...but you have no idea how much joy I got from it.

To play and sing again gives me a kind of hope.

I hope that this feeling stays forever this time...I've missed it so much.



Zara and I's very old one. Enjoy: http://www.purevolume.com/aniciaandzara

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