Whenever we have one child most of us have the time in the world to go to know them, understand the requirements, meet their needs watching them grow. Every new phase of development is completely new and exciting especially when they are the first grandchild they get a lot of adult focus. However when the second child occurs there are many changes on your routine and your family also it can feel very overwhelming. Whenever you understand how your toddler may suffer and the changes in your own parenting you will feel much more confident in handling two children in your lifetime.
Firstborns naturally receive a large amount of attention.
With all this attention and sole focus we usually jump when the baby cries and meet their demands immediately, keep them tidy and clean, teach them new things being done the right way and let the same from them. Most first born toddlers like clean hands, everything devote its right place, their demands met immediately and recognize how mum and dad such as the routine done as reported by the rules! (when they have a routine).
Second Baby is often more flexible.
We have the second baby and everything changes. Suddenly we do not have the time, energy or inclination for something to be perfect and that we certainly do not feel like doing it immediately! Guardian we are faced with caring for and coordinating two children now then one has to give. We will need to prioritize and naturally be a little more flexible and acquire to what needs to be done once we have time. When prioritizing we usually meet the needs of the noisiest one first and as a result the second child is likely to learn to be flexible. They often times need to wait for a feed, hear mums voice and know she is going to come eventually, just like twins who learn rapidly mum will come soon.
Because you will find a toddler and a baby, the child is often carted around and requires to learn to sleep in lots of different places because the toddler has generated a routine and activities. Mum and pop want the toddler to take care of their routine and weekly activities so they really have a sense of normality for their life now that the brand new baby has come along. This can help to encourage flexible sleeping for the new baby and most parents' state that the second baby is mostly more flexible in nature. The reason the second baby is a bit more flexible is that mum and dad have become more flexible and much less anxious about everything therefore baby responds accordingly.
It can be sensible at this point to remember that your toddler has lived through a couple of years of strict routines, everything done whenever they wanted it, rules followed and lots of attention. Given that the new baby comes along mum and dad may have relaxed the policies and become more flexible as there is more to do, but, your son or daughter is expecting something to remain the same. They don't appreciate or know that the rules may have changed since you are busier and expect their needs to be met immediately since they were before. This is why some toddlers might have trouble adjusting to the brand new baby and demand more attention.
Keep with all the toddlers routine
You should respect your toddler and routines for eating and sleeping and playing on time. Your toddler still needs their needs met as much as the newest baby. However the newborn will be more flexible as opposed to toddler in routine and nature. The toddler during this period will have set times for sleeping, eating and playing as well as the baby will be having various awake and asleep times not fixed towards the clock. Therefore you can avoid trouble start by making sure the toddlers routine is kept to first.
Especially in the hectic afternoon "arsenic hour" the brand new baby will want to have frequent feeds and shorter sleeps and can fit into the toddlers preparation for sleep routine. I suggest that once the toddler is at bed, offer the baby any calm uptime, which has a relaxed feed before you go to bed for the night.
It is acceptable to teach toddlers cooperation and patience during this period. I find parents cope better whenever they understand that the toddler stage is all about "me" and the toddler thinks down the principle of "what's inside for me?" As we can word all requests provided to the toddler ending using a reward (of time, an outing or a favourite activity) were more likely to gain cooperation. Since the toddler grows older positive encouragement alone will guarantee continued cooperation.
Learning how to live and play together.
Get the job done toddler appears to love the toddler, they could nearly love them to death! As parents we need to do a lot of modelling of precisely how to touch the baby, best places to kiss, washing hands, gentle play so when it's OK to enter the baby's room and look at them (poke them). Your son or daughter doesn't understand consequences or their own strength and will feel really out of place if all contact with the baby is discouraged or frowned upon. Remember your son or daughter has a really small concentration span so offer some cuddles and one-on-one special time using the baby and after a couple of minutes they will be off doing something more important. Encourage reading time when you are stuck on the lounge feeding the infant and agree to take the quality time with the toddler right after the baby is having some floor play or last bed.
Also consider the toddler from the baby's perspective. My favourite description of my own toddler's was "hairy monsters". These were always getting in close to baby's face to convey "hello!" and their hair was hanging everywhere! While we are always in baby's face the toddler will want to do the same.
I am also seeing a great deal of baby's that are losing out on essential floor play because mum and pa are trying to protect them from your toddler. Using a bouncer, hip, playpen, jolly jumper, walker or highchair prevents floor play and tummy some time and inhibits the mental and physical development of your baby. It is far better to teach the toddler the way to play and supervise a floor play initially than prevent it all up.
I found it useful to make a lunchbox up of healthy snacks along with a drink in a non-spill drink bottle available for the toddler, as it was always while i sat down to feed the newborn that the siblings would want something to eat or drink.
Tip: Have no guilt. The gift you've given your toddler in the sibling to cherish forever far outweighs the negatives of sharing the parents. How wonderful how the toddler can learn cooperation, compromise, sharing resulting in being a family. Remember that your toddler had one to themselves for a few years along with the new baby will never have you to themselves.