PureVolume

"Have you ever done drugs, Don?" The queer voice rang. The voice pissed me off, frankly.

"Of course!" I smiled. "I was a child of both the inner city killing fields and the Suburban death marches, baby." To hell with these uptight nosy agent assholes... Fuck 'em... "In the city I could get cheap drugs anytime... but I had to steal shit or con people outta' shit to get it... In Suburbia, drugs were plentiful and of good quality... Mommy love me long time... give me beaucoup dollah for good smoke... it's the difference between being in the trenches and out on point... Charlie's in the shadows either way, and he's gettin' your dogtag... but is he gonna' gut you with a bayonet, or blow you up with pretty grenades?... We're all users, it's just how we use what we got... Me, I dug Suburbia on the weekends, the drugs were stronger... harder to find, but stronger... Besides, those pristine Daddy's girl honor roll students were better looking and eager to please... but to answer your question... Yes, I've taken drugs, and still take them..."

I smiled again... I could smell the fur bristle as their vicious rabid eyes narrowed, and I swear, I heard two small penises' harden... They smelled blood, but my smile did not waver...

"But you take drugs too... nicoteine, caffeine, aecetomenaphine, thrills, kicks, kinks... we're all really in the same skin suits, waiting to shed them..." I continued, their smiles deflated and their dicks shriveled slightly... Shrink... S-h-h-hrink... bristle...

The older of the two spineless agents frowned and a look of disdain crossed the younger sycophant's face...

"Ok..." The older one whined... "He has the proper identification, though I still think he might be a terrorist..." His head fell as he slid the little plastic wrapped card accross the counter to me.

Dear Lord, I hate renewing my license since 9/11... The Motor Vehicle Administration was bad enough before the Hitler Youth took over... Now you have to waste your whole vacation just to get a fricking license...